my way or the highway

between work and more work, i barely have time for myself, much less for blogging. this month has been crazy full of office movements, project management and class preparations. yes, i am the newest addition to the *ahem* exalted pool of european studies professors. madame, ambassador m. and ate kai finally got their claws in me. they wouldn't budge so i will be teaching research methods to the lucky juniors this coming semester.

as usual, my dad has been his normal "what the hell do you think you're doing" self regarding the parttime gig. i know he means well, in his traditionally chinese dad way (read: i'm always right and it is always circa 1950s); but i just shudder to think what i'd become if i let him browbeat me into not doing the stuff that i love. one would think that after all that i've done and accomplished, he'd have enough respect and belief in me to let me do things my own way. i know most parents have a hard time letting their kids live their own lives but they should recognize the time when parenting becomes a (fine, mostly) spectator sport and let their kids play however they want to play.

doormat days are back again

being smart is truly a matter of opinion. take for example this student who graduated magna cum laude. she participated in a lot of demanding extracurricular activities, served in the student government, finished a couple of minors (and almost got a third one, before the lightbulb turned on), and learned how to properly put on make-up (which includes that dastardly invention- the eyelash curler), while slaving away on her major. she has gone to different countries on her own and learned how to properly manage a budget. she can speak 4 languages and knows how to handle drunk morons (or moronic drunks- take your pick), poopy toddlers and irate principals.

what's the egghead up to now?

relegated to doing her sister's reflection paper because the poor thing needs to study for her philo and phil history exams. (no! i-- err... she does not want to discuss the nuances between the tydings-mcduffie act and the hare-hawes-cutting act!)

she seriously needs to get a clue.

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in other news:

1. ate dinner at saisaki last wednesday to celebrate the birthdays of the october boys: olli, say, abz (sept), p, cheng, and arun. ate a lot thanks to paul. went to cheng's house for after-dinner drinks and socializing (polite speak for getting wasted and talking about anything and everything). of course, i just had a glass of red wine, a shot of tequila, a couple of cans of beer, a bottle of sake, and a pack of cigs. heh.

2. stayed at corregidor for the weekend for work/play, where i could have sworn i had a paranormal experience. no, it was not during the warbling in front of the videoke... although the smoke made that part hazy. nor was it during the blackout when i screamed like a girl. all i can say is, no amount of free food will coax me into staying there for another night.

stepping closer to the edge

for the past number of nights, i've been having disconcertingly weird dreams. although they're not in the tune of t-rexes and swat team commandoes running around in a primordial forest, they have been pretty recurrent with different characters figuring into the script. huh. makes me wonder whether my subconscious is trying to tell me something or if it's the delayed reaction to work-related stress. what's irritating is that i never get to finish them so i'm always left hanging.

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i'm starting to feel that niggling kernel of discontent again. work has been comme ci comme ca at its best and très mauvais at its worst. i miss my friends, both here and abroad. i don't see the gang anymore. i can't go out to blow off steam like i was able to back in france (ah freedom, sweet freedom). i'd give anything for a glass of ice cold faro and a night of brutal ice hockey.

aaaaaagggghhhh!!!!

i want to throw a full-blown temper tantrum but i'll probably just hate myself afterwards for being so damned immature. i think my boss sensed that it was lurking beneath the surface and she has been talking to me about my career path within the company. i think it's great that she sees me in the future of the company and is making a point to give me more responsibilities which would normally be given to a more senior or at least a more experienced employee. but i dunno... sometimes i just wanna rip all their fucking heads off.

if growing up means senility and the inability to make simple decisions then take me to nevernever land, baby.