chronicles of a euphoric spitfire

back from the dead

2007-06-29T09:38:00.000+08:00

it has been ages since i last wrote something here. as usual, i've been buried under an enormous shit heap of travail. god knows why i stick with this... wait, i do know but i'm just too mutton-headed to do anything about it. umm... apologies to the scores of cute lil sheep around the world.

anyhoo, just wanted to write for the sake of writing. i figured it's been ages since i've chronicled anything here, and i'm bound to forget the nice little sprinkles of fairy dust that decorated my otherwise drab existence of the past, what, 5 months?

* * *

china has been wonderful. i've been trying to upload photos in my multiply. alas, work has been brutal enough to prevent me from doing so.

one of my favorites...

saw the pandas, ate peking duck and had a free foot massage in the new olympic village being created for 2008. all excellent experiences for sure. i find myself searching for that patent sense of homecoming i felt when i stepped out of that distant gare in angers, dusty, tired yet eager to start a new chapter of my life. vive la france!

going down from the great wall...

maybe it was because it was just a four-day trip. maybe it was because i was with my family. but when i stepped out of that not-too distant airport and into the bright beijing day, that feeling eluded me.

inside the bus with shobs...

going past the forbidden city, tiananmen square, the great wall of china, and the smaller nooks and crannies of this ancient city, i could see myself settling in with the locals though. beijing has that modern-slash-historic-city vibe going on, which i definitely dig. lots of places to discover and food to gorge on. and the fact that the olympics will be held there on 2008 definitely does not hurt.

group pic at the forbidden city

* * *

club noah isabelle was wonderful as well! i repeat my sentiments after going to el nido last december- palawan trumps bora anyday.

snorkeling, sun bathing and fishing are the primary ingredients for a super vacation before your life takes a decisive turn up shit creek.

* * *

completed the first 4 calls of my cruise project with much aplomb. very interesting project that allowed me to work with various people across the board. plus, it gave me the opportunity to practice my flailing francais. c'est super!

* * *

my birthday was pretty underwhelming... as usual. no hot brazilian guys, no booze and no police hauling people off to jail.

thanks to all the peeps who remembered me on that day. i don't think i deserved it specially right after i forgot to greet 2 of my closest buds on their respective birthdays (the shame...).

the icing on the cake was enzo being suddenly assigned to fix some i.t. thingabob in our office. yay! lunch and merienda with one of the ~~lostest~~ nicest boys in the world. don't worry zo, you're not the only one suffering from memory loss.

* * *

ok, back to being unproductive.

allez ducs allez!!!

2007-02-23T14:31:00.000+08:00

woohoo!!!

my favorite french hockey team kicked ass!!!

félicitations pour gagnant la coupe de france!

anna et mike, j’espère que j'étais là-bas, à bercy, avec vous.

vive les ducs!!! vive l'angers!!!

* * *

Les Ducs d’Angers sacrés à l’issue d’une soirée historique
par Fédération Française de Hockey sur Glace

La finale de la Coupe de France 2007 restera gravée dans les mémoires à plus d’un titre.

En cette soirée de la Saint Valentin, plus de 12 000 amoureux du hockey sur glace s’étaient donnés rendez-vous pour célébrer le retour de leur sport à Paris-Bercy. On retiendra ainsi qu’avec 12 215 spectateurs, un record d’affluence a été établi pour une rencontre de hockey sur glace se déroulant dans ce lieu mythique du sport français.

2 événements importants se déroulaient également en marge de cette finale :

- La remise d’un « plan patinoire » à Monsieur Jean-François Lamour, Ministre de la Jeunesse, des Sports et de la Vie Associative, destiné à favoriser l’émergence d’infrastructures nécessaires à la pratique et au développement du hockey sur glace.

- La signature de conventions de partenariats et d’échanges avec les Fédérations Canadienne et Finlandaise de Hockey sur glace en présence de René Marcil et Bob Nicholson, Présidents de Hockey Canada et Harry Bogomoloff, Vice-Président de la Fédération Finlandaise.

Du côté du jeu, on savait que la finale s’avérerait historique pour le vainqueur, Angers ou Epinal pouvant en effet inaugurer leur palmarès à l’issue de la rencontre.

Après un premier tiers temps indécis, les Ducs d’Angers prenaient le meilleur sur les Dauphins d’Epinal dans les 2 tiers temps suivants et emportaient ainsi la décision finale par 4 buts à 1.

Simon Lacroix était désigné meilleur joueur de la rencontre et le capitaine Martin Lacroix se voyait remettre le trophée « Pete Laliberté » des mains de Luc Tardif et Jean-François Lamour.

Les Angevins pouvaient alors célébrer leur victoire en compagnie de leurs supporters tandis que les joueurs Spinaliens forcément déçus allaient saluer leurs nombreux fans ayant fait le déplacement depuis les Vosges pour les soutenir.

early montage

2007-02-20T09:51:00.000+08:00

not that anyone would notice, but my mobile went kaput last week. it started turning off and starting up again everytime i pressed 4 and finally decided not to revive after the nth time. after threats of mechanical decapitation, drowning and cellslaughter, i finally conceded that i needed to let her go and find a new phone. so if any of you tried to call or text and i didn't reply... hahaha! what's new?

that being said, things i need/want to buy:

1. mobile (i'm trying to decide between nokia 7390, n70 or that hot motorola phone)
2. book case (i found a nice, cheap, functional one at puregold when we went there last sunday. i reckon i'll be able to squeeze around 240 books into it- not even half of my stash- but it'll have to do)
3. exercise machine (given that i absolutely ABHOR going to the gym but need/like physical exercise- unfortunately, we don't have a pool-, this is a must)
4. a whole case of orangina (yup, i'm still jonesing for it)
5. books!

books i NEED to buy:
1. drop dead gorgeous- linda howard
2. undead and unpopular- maryjanice davidson
3. jennifer scales series- maryjanice davidson
4. code name: baby- christina skye
5. code name: blondie- christina skye

ever since i started teaching and my brain cells got much needed exercise, i felt that my quota for romance novels warranted a much deserved increase. so there.

* * *

after putting it off for some time (i've been busy with work, ateneo and bubu), i recently watched al gore's an inconvenient truth. truth be told, i wasn't expecting much. regardless of how interested i am in the subject, i've found that proponents of the reality of global warming and climate change are usually lacking in public speaking skills and style. add the fact that the film is a documentary and you can almost imagine a snoozefest taking place in front of the screen.

however, despite snippets of political and personal footnotes slyly inserted into the chunk that is global warming, i found it to be a very interesting and informative primer on the nature and ramifications of global warming. it tends to be simplistic at times, but considering its audience, it would have to be for the message to get through. al gore is surprisingly capable and electric. his knowledge and passion for the issue is clearly evident. i liked it so much that i showed it to my class in research methods. i felt that they could benefit from it as much as i did and perhaps, since none of them has seen the documentary before, i could make a minute difference in their lives.

going off on a tangent, i just had an edifying epiphany. does this mean i really want to stay in the ivory tower?

* * *

ack!!! i can't believe the bloody result will be given on may! that's 3 bloody months away! boo!!!

for some reason, i'm not as confident about it as before. perhaps it's because i have a lighter grasp of it, or maybe it's because i just know so many people who deserve it more than i do. or maybe it's because a lot of people are expecting me to get it and the thought of failure is gag-inducing.

whatever.

if i get it then yay!!!

if not, i better get started on a contingency plan lickety split.

orangina oh orangina!

2007-02-12T09:28:00.001+08:00

i'm seriously jonesing for orangina.

a late recounting of 2006

2007-01-17T11:08:00.000+08:00

stole this from lenlen (who i really miss, by the way).

what did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?

visited tours (and ate at a french restaurant all by myself) and nantes
ate pizza with a bunch of hockey players after a great game
went on a shopping binge with anna during sale season
haul big-ass luggages through paris' metro
really went around paris (this included a visit to l'arc de triomphe, versailles, montmarte, sacre coeur, louvre, pigalle moulin rouge, bastille, champs elysee, etc.)
hibernated 3.5 weeks of my life away
got a regular job
paid my own bills
got a raise
got another job: became an instructor
went bar-hopping in manila
seen and swam with a whale shark
went scuba diving ( well, it was an intro dive... but still)
went kayaking
went to bicol, davao and el nido
this feels like a lot so i'll end it here

did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

i didn't have the time to make new year's resolutions last year, but i made some for 2007

did anyone close to you give birth?

as far as i can remember, ira!

did anyone close to you die?

i don't think so...

what countries did you visit?

well, i got back from france and singapore.

what would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?

a better plan, foresight and passion

what date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

several dates:
19 january 2006: last day in france
6 march 2006: first day at work
18 november 2006: first day as an instructor

what was your biggest achievement of the year?

becoming more mature than i thought possible

what was your biggest failure?

february and march 2006

did you suffer illness or injury?

yes, minor stuff

what was the best thing you bought?

i can't seem to pick one:
a black blazer from camaieu
a blue and green waterfall necklace from lafayette worth EUR 1,5
dark chocolate gloves from morgan
an underwater digital camera for my dad
a box of dustless chalk

whose behavior merited celebration?

mine! and my sister's

whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

haha! secret.

where did most of your money go?

food, gifts, books, and house bills

what did you get really, really, really excited about?

going shopping during the january sale
visiting versailles
seeing the pyramids at the louvre
going to bicol and el nido
pizza hut's cheezy volcano

what song(s) will always remind you of 2006?

hsm songs: breaking free!
save yourself by stabbing westward
everything and stepping out by kaskade
sugar sugar by frankie j
summer nights by lil' rob
and a lot more...

compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? -- sadder
ii. thinner or fatter? – thinner
iii. richer or poorer? – richer

what do you wish you'd done more?

spend time with old friends

what do you wish you'd done less of?

sulking

how many one-night stands?

heh.

what was your favorite TV program?

supernatural
prison break

do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

what was the best book you read?

my vampire novels
do-overs
confessions of a not it girl

what was your greatest musical discovery?

stabbing westward
frankie j
kyo

what did you want and get?

maturity

what was your favorite film of this year?

casino royale
the covenant
hsm

what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

celebrated it with family and friends, 23

what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

longer stay in france
more travel
and something else...

how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?

european casual and corporate

what kept you sane?

reading, bitching, movies, music, friends, bubu

which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

zizou, until the headbutt
steven strait
vin

what political issue stirred you the most?

hahaha...

who did you miss?

france buddies: anna, tam, danny, jlaure, caro, gege, georges, walid, florian, charlotte, jenna, helen, mansour, omar, stef, claire, jean, mike, mithun, simone, sarah, angela, aurelien, gaston, irina, adriana, phil, till, parrain, guigui, and so many more!

who was the best new person you met?

there were a lot- new friends, some colleagues

tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:

don't be sad because it's over, be happy because it happened

what was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself?

i'm going to go places
second nicest: seriously, you look thinner. hahaha!

the most touching experience you've had this year?

when i got home and bubu ditched the welcome reception at the airport because she wanted to watch the backstreet boys concert. heh. seriously, when ahia made an effort to hang out with me when we both know we give each other headaches.

what did you like most about yourself this year?

my bank account

what did you hate most about yourself this year?

same old same old

quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

stick your head back in the sand, it's not yet safe out there (if that's not a part of any song out there, someone should seriously consider composing one with that line in it)

was 2006 a good year for you?

in spite of the answer to the previous question, yes.

what was your least favorite moment of the year?

19 january 2006

where were you when 2006 began?

playing a drinking game with a bunch of hockey players in anna and mike's apartment, miles and miles away from my family

who were you with?

see above

where will you be when 2006 ends?

edsa shang, garden wing suite

who will you be with when 2006 ends?

bubu

do you have a new years resolution for 2007?

lots, but i'm not gonna put the list here

what was your favorite month of 2006?

december 2006

did you lose anybody close to you in 2006?

nope!

what was your favorite record from 2006?

ost of the covenant

how many concerts did you see in 2006?

none

did you drink a lot of alchohol in 2006?

yep, while i was in france

do a lot of drugs in 2006?

hahaha!

you do anything you are ashamed of this year?

maybe

how much money did you spend in 2006?

a lot. i'd get my annual statement, but i'm too lazy so yeah, a lot.

what was your proudest moment of 2006?

treating my family out for the very first time
bubu's debut

what was your most embarrassing moment of 2006?

ack, never mind.

if you could go back in time to any moment of 2006 and change something, what would it be?

done more stuff while i was still in france

what are your plans for 2007?

boy oh boy, wouldn't i like to know

how are you different now that the year has ended?

more mature and responsible

what are your wishes for the new year?

lower greenhouse gas emissions
nicer politicians
world peace

updates

2006-12-08T14:13:00.000+08:00

so i haven't posted anything in a while. between preparing my sister's surprise debut, teaching and, oh yeah, working, i didn't really have much free time for myself. it was all candles, papers, seashells, class list, buffet menu, quizzes, layouts, avps, and ops scheds. but all that's over now. well, at least the debut part. hooray for me. another successful debut concluded satisfactorily. i might have prospective clients after that event. maybe i'll become a wedding planner someday. heh. the poor couples. natch!

i'm uber glad that bubu appreciated it. regardless of the fact that several boobs weren't there to celebrate her birthday with her, i could tell that she had fun. but thank the good lord i only have one sister to spoil.

* * *
my fledgling career as an instructor was off to a good start... i think. my potty mouth didn't rear its not-so-ugly head up, i didn't spew venom and my class stayed in their seats until the bell rang, so that's a pretty good start. i'm giving them their second quiz tomorrow. i do believe they are starting to dread my quizzes. i wonder why...

i have this little, fluffy theory percolating in my head. hopefully, i'll be able to understand its significance soon enough.

* * *
ma famille et moi will be going to el nido for a vacation. yay!!! december 22-29 will see me skinny dipping in palawan with a hot brazilian guy. (wow, it just occurred to me that i haven't thought of my prototypical brazilian guy for ages... maybe it's because i've been thinking of shifting to another archetype... natch!) haha! anyway, i'm really glad i decided against the eurotrip with my bro; at least this way, the family will get to spend christmas and new year together, unlike last year when i was in strasbourg and they were in hong kong disneyland. i think i can bear to stay away from europe for a couple more years... maybe less. let's see.

* * *
ok, back to quantitative methods...

i'm happy, damn it!

2006-11-08T14:54:00.001+08:00

i wanna write something in this blog, but my thoughts are just waaay too jumbled up to even attempt untangling them.

ack.

maybe i'll feel better tomorrow after some retail therapy later tonight.

maybe.

i'm happy. i'm happy. i'm happy.

there.

obstinacy usually wins in the end.

my way or the highway

2006-10-26T12:41:00.000+08:00

between work and more work, i barely have time for myself, much less for blogging. this month has been crazy full of office movements, project management and class preparations. yes, i am the newest addition to the *ahem* exalted pool of european studies professors. madame, ambassador m. and ate kai finally got their claws in me. they wouldn't budge so i will be teaching research methods to the lucky juniors this coming semester.

as usual, my dad has been his normal "what the hell do you think you're doing" self regarding the parttime gig. i know he means well, in his traditionally chinese dad way (read: i'm always right and it is always circa 1950s); but i just shudder to think what i'd become if i let him browbeat me into not doing the stuff that i love. one would think that after all that i've done and accomplished, he'd have enough respect and belief in me to let me do things my own way. i know most parents have a hard time letting their kids live their own lives but they should recognize the time when parenting becomes a (fine, mostly) spectator sport and let their kids play however they want to play.

doormat days are back again

2006-10-10T12:47:00.000+08:00

being smart is truly a matter of opinion. take for example this student who graduated magna cum laude. she participated in a lot of demanding extracurricular activities, served in the student government, finished a couple of minors (and almost got a third one, before the lightbulb turned on), and learned how to properly put on make-up (which includes that dastardly invention- the eyelash curler), while slaving away on her major. she has gone to different countries on her own and learned how to properly manage a budget. she can speak 4 languages and knows how to handle drunk morons (or moronic drunks- take your pick), poopy toddlers and irate principals.

what's the egghead up to now?

relegated to doing her sister's reflection paper because the poor thing needs to study for her philo and phil history exams. (no! i-- err... she does not want to discuss the nuances between the tydings-mcduffie act and the hare-hawes-cutting act!)

she seriously needs to get a clue.

* * *

in other news:

1. ate dinner at saisaki last wednesday to celebrate the birthdays of the october boys: olli, say, abz (sept), p, cheng, and arun. ate a lot thanks to paul. went to cheng's house for after-dinner drinks and socializing (polite speak for getting wasted and talking about anything and everything). of course, i just had a glass of red wine, a shot of tequila, a couple of cans of beer, a bottle of sake, and a pack of cigs. heh.

2. stayed at corregidor for the weekend for work/play, where i could have sworn i had a paranormal experience. no, it was not during the warbling in front of the videoke... although the smoke made that part hazy. nor was it during the blackout when i screamed like a girl. all i can say is, no amount of free food will coax me into staying there for another night.

stepping closer to the edge

2006-10-05T14:38:00.000+08:00

for the past number of nights, i've been having disconcertingly weird dreams. although they're not in the tune of t-rexes and swat team commandoes running around in a primordial forest, they have been pretty recurrent with different characters figuring into the script. huh. makes me wonder whether my subconscious is trying to tell me something or if it's the delayed reaction to work-related stress. what's irritating is that i never get to finish them so i'm always left hanging.

* * *

i'm starting to feel that niggling kernel of discontent again. work has been comme ci comme ca at its best and très mauvais at its worst. i miss my friends, both here and abroad. i don't see the gang anymore. i can't go out to blow off steam like i was able to back in france (ah freedom, sweet freedom). i'd give anything for a glass of ice cold faro and a night of brutal ice hockey.

aaaaaagggghhhh!!!!

i want to throw a full-blown temper tantrum but i'll probably just hate myself afterwards for being so damned immature. i think my boss sensed that it was lurking beneath the surface and she has been talking to me about my career path within the company. i think it's great that she sees me in the future of the company and is making a point to give me more responsibilities which would normally be given to a more senior or at least a more experienced employee. but i dunno... sometimes i just wanna rip all their fucking heads off.

if growing up means senility and the inability to make simple decisions then take me to nevernever land, baby.

move along

2006-09-22T12:42:00.000+08:00

i am a beautiful fairy princess.

when in doubt...

2006-09-20T12:36:00.001+08:00

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."

- Charles De Gaulle, former French President

reminiscing france (again)

2006-09-06T14:59:00.000+08:00

last saturday, i was supposed to have lunch with my "french" pals- cher, aims, liszy, camilla, ina, laurent, nicole, and gabrielle. in honor of our anniversary (so to speak), this lunch was to welcome back ina, say bon voyage to aimee and camilla who are leaving for beijing and london respectively, and meet up with bona fide french people who are studying/working in our fair country. unfortunately, only half showed up- me, aims, ina, and laurent; the rest had prior plans which runneth over lunch time, or didn't have transpo to get to shang.

although we did miss the others (sorely :( ), we had a great lunch at cpk while talking about traveling misadventures, french politics, china possibilities, and just about anything under the sun. it was a good thing aimee and i met up last saturday at sumosam because we were still catching up on everything from china to movies to fond memories of france. i missed ina dearly specially after the odd week i spent in her dorm at la roche. i felt that that week bonded us in a way that wasn't possible in school. she was full of stories about her adventures and misadventures in cute but treacherous spain, and in a quaint little farm in the boondocks of france. i haven't seen laurent since my week at la roche, but he definitely has seen better days. as ina said, he looked like he spent time in jail. huh. is filipino food that bad or is laurent just missing his cheese (and other delectable french cuisine)?

hopefully, we can have another get together soon (albeit sans aimee and camilla :( ). since ina mentioned that i've been wanting to practice my french, laurent kindly offered to set up a party with french people so that we can meet new people and practice my abysmal french.

* * *

i love this song!!!

over my head (cable car)
the fray

i never knew
i never knew that everything was falling through
that everyone i knew was waiting on a queue
to turn and run when all i needed was the truth
but that's how it's got to be
it's coming down to nothing more than apathy
i'd rather run the other way than stay and see
the smoke and who's still standing when it clears

chorus:
everyone knows i'm in
over my head
over my head
with eight seconds left in overtime
she's on your mind
she's on your mind

let's rearrange
i wish you were a stranger i could disengage
just say that we agree and then never change
soften a bit until we all just get along
but that's disregard
find another friend and you discard
as you lose the argument in a cable car
hanging above as the canyon comes between

chorus 2x

and suddenly i become a part of your past
i'm becoming the part that don't last
i'm losing you and its effortless
without a sound we lose sight of the ground
in the throw around
never thought that you wanted to bring it down
i won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

chorus

everyone knows
she's on your mind
everyone knows i'm in over my head
i'm in over my head
i'm in over...

chorus

en souvenir

2006-08-31T15:20:00.000+08:00

c’était une année depuis je suis partie pour france, et la france me manque beaucoup.

j’ai étudié dans angers pour un semestre- appris le français et la gestion, fait beaucoup d’amis et visité beaucoup de villes. j’ai mangé la cuisine française. j’ai fait les fêtes tous les soirs. je suis tombé amoureux fou…

en fait, je pense que les quatre mois et demi en france étaient le meilleur de ma vie.

bon anniversaire mes sœurs angevines.

revisiting college

2006-08-30T15:21:00.000+08:00

we celebrated anj's birthday last saturday with a sit-down dinner prepared by anj and her squeeze, p. it was a fantastic dinner- great salad with flavorful dressing, roasted chicken, pesto pasta, choco fondue, brewed iced tea (yum!), and lotsa bubblies. as usual, the get together with the gang was nostalgic, funny and serious all at the same time. reminiscing about college and talking about work tend to do that, specially with frey peppering the conversation with his corny ha-ha jokes and comments. sadly, kai kai and val weren't able to go- which was probably why the guy-girl ratio was abnormally high on the guy's side. ;p

* * *

i woke up last wednesday feeling... weird. sad. exasperated. relieved. panicky.

the fso written exams started that wednesday and ran 'til friday. and i wasn't in the dfa building feeling sick and about to hork (and expulse in other ways), or frantically trying to remember the most recent of current events.

i realized a couple of months ago that i was going to blow off the written exams like i did last year. except this time, i didn't have the legitimate excuse (to myself) of studying in france. i feel exasperated and a bit guilty for not pushing it this time around, specially since i almost got into trouble filing the damned application last may.

for the better part of my college years, i've always assumed that i will be entering the foreign service. now, i know i'm not. at least, not yet.

* * *

more than a year out of college, things are still the same yet, at the same time, changing at the speed of light. i find myself wondering what next year would bring.

high school musical overload

2006-08-23T13:56:00.000+08:00

and so, the lss rears its (not-so-)ugly head again. i loooove disney's high school musical. i can watch it over and over again.

start of something new

living in my own world
didn't understand
that anything can happen
when you take a chance

i never believed in
what i couldn't see
i never opened my heart
to all the possibilities
i know that something has changed
never felt this way
and right here tonight

chorus:
this could be the start
of something new
it feels so right
to be here with you
and now looking in your eyes
i feel in my heart
the start of something new

now who'd have ever thought that
we'd both be here tonight
and the world looks so much brighter
with you by my side
i know that something has changed
never felt this way
i know it for real

[chorus]

i never knew that it could happen
till it happened to me
i didn't know it before
but now it's easy to see

it's a start
of something new
it feels so right
to be here with you
and now looking in your eyes
i feel in my heart

that it's the start
of something new
it feels so right
to be here with you
and now looking in your eyes
i feel in my heart
the start of something new
start of something new

get'cha head in the game

coach said to fake right
and break left
watch out for the pick
and keep an eye on defense
gotta run the give and go
and take the ball to the hole
but don't be afraid
to shoot the outside "j"

just keep ya head in the game
just keep ya head in the game

and don't be afraid to shoot the outside "j"
just keep ya head in the game

u gotta get'cha get'cha head in the game
we gotta get our, get our, get our, get our head in the game(repeat 3x)

let's make sure
that we get the rebound
'cause when we get it
then the crowd will go wild
a second chance
gotta grab it and go
maybe this time
we'll hit the right notes

wait a minute
it's not the time or place
wait a minute
get my head in the game
wait a minute
get my head in the game
wait a minute
wait a minute

i gotta get my, get my head in the game
you gotta get'cha, get'cha, get'cha, get'cha head in the game(repeat 3x)

why am I feeling so wrong
my head's in the game but my heart's in the song
she makes this feel so right

should I go for it
better shake this, yikes!

i gotta get my, get my head in the game
you gotta get'cha, get'cha, get'cha, get'cha head in the game(repeat 4x)

what i've been looking for

troy:
it’s hard to believe
that i couldn’t see
you were always there beside me

gabriella:
thought i was alone
with no one to hold

both:
but you were always right beside me
this feeling’s like no other
i want you to know

chorus
i’ve never had someone that knows me like you do
the way you do
i’ve never had someone as good for me as you
no one like you
so lonely before i finally found
what i’ve been looking for

breaking free

troy:
we’re soarin’, flyin’
there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach

gabriella:
if we’re trying
so we’re breaking free

troy:
you know the world can see us
in a way that’s different than who we are

gabriella:
creating space between us
‘til we’re separate hearts

both:
but your faith it gives me strength
strength to believe

chorus #1
troy:
we’re breakin’ free
gabriella:
we’re soarin’
troy:
flyin’
both:
there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach
troy:
if we’re trying
both:
yeah, we’re breaking free
troy:
oh, we’re breakin’ free
gabriella:
ohhhh

troy:
can you feel it building
like a wave the ocean just can’t control
gabriella:
connected by a feeling
ohhh, in our very souls
both:
rising ‘til it lifts us up
so every one can see

chorus #2
troy:
we’re breakin’ free
gabriella:
we’re soarin’
troy:
flyin’
both:
there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach
troy:
if we’re trying
yeah we’re breaking free
gabriella:
Ohhhh runnin’
troy:
climbin’
to get to that place
both:
to be all that we can be
troy:
now’s the time
both:
so we’re breaking free
troy:
we’re breaking free
gabriella:
ohhh, yeah

troy:
more than hope more than faith
gabriella:
this is true this is fate and together
both:
we see it comin’
troy:
more than you more than me
gabriella:
not a want, but a need
both:
both of us breakin’ free

chorus #3
gabriella:
soarin’
troy:
flyin’
both:
there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach
if we’re trying
troy:
yeah we’re breaking free
gabriella:
breaking free
we're runnin’
troy:
ohhhh, climbin’
both:
to get to the place to be all that we can be
now’s the time
troy:
now’s the time
gabriella:
so we’re breaking free
troy:
ohhh, we’re breaking free
gabriella:
ohhhh

both:
you know the world can see us
in a way that’s different than who we are

the doldrums

2006-07-31T12:55:00.000+08:00

for the past 3 weeks i've been experiencing the doldrums. i'm taking this as a bad sign since it's not showing any signs of abating. i used to be able to snap out of this by reading whatever novels i have on hand or annoying the crap out of my brother; but now, even reading mr. perfect or throwing away the latest "secret" stash of ciggies is fast losing its appeal.

it makes me wonder whether a quick trip to france (or just about anywhere) will cure this latest edition of the blahs, or will only exacerbate the situation by making me long for something which i cannot have as of now.

my personal mantra of being proactive is slowly being debunked as a clichéd effort to reach for something which might not be there. being an over-achieving do-gooder has its perks, make no mistake about it, but as of the moment, i rather doubt that it is worth the utter aggravation of ubiquitous dissatisfaction.

that being said, i will put all of my efforts into emulating my long-time hero: ferris bueller.

save ferris!

updates on my so-called life

2006-07-11T13:07:00.000+08:00

alright, so kai kai has been demanding for an update. i don't know why i should bother since nothing interesting has been happening in my life. same old same old. maybe when one is stuck inside a chem or a bio lab dissecting cats or whatnot, even the most dreary of your friends' lives will seem more interesting than... watching cheese mold. (love you lots kai kai! :D)

anyhoo, i've watched the nba finals. got super disappointed that the mavs lost. normally, i really wouldn't care but that's the effect of having kai kai go on and on about her german god (a.k.a. dirk nowitzki) :). wasn't able to watch the world cup, but have been following up on the latest. was also super disappointed that france lost. heard it was a mediocre match, whose sole highlight (well, more of an amazingly unbelievable moment- and not in a good way) was when zizou headbutted materazzi. don't really have an opinion about that for now, but i'm just disappointed zizou wasn't able to end his glorious career with a second world cup win for france. he was just unbelievable in the match against brazil. bravo!

i've been chatting with my french friends lately. they all told me that my french is better than before. haha! merci beaucoup, mes amis. that was definitely an ego booster since i haven't been practicing, although i have been watching several french movies. i guess they've been helping.

what's not been helping, on the other hand, is the total lack of focus i have on my career path. i know, i know. this is an old and tired saw that i've been yammering about since god knows when; but i can't help but feel that i'm in a rut... a vocational rut. with too many things that i want to do and too little time, i can't help but feel pressured that everyone else seems to have no trouble at all deciphering where they want to be in their lives. more and more, i get this feeling that finding my dream job has distressingly parallel characteristics to finding the perfect pair of boots. you have to try each and every pair that catches your eye in order to cross out what you don't want... or much worse, add to those that you do lust after. so now that i have a nice pair of 3-inch black boots, with cute buckles on the sides, that come up to my calves; i'm lusting after a pair of 1-inch dark chocolate brown pointy ones, that come up to my calves. there is just no reasoning with my mind or my ego.

i just need time, space, vampire novels, and a whole lot of dark belgian chocolates to figure out a cure for my norealvocationitis. heavy on the time. and maybe add a good dose of weed. they say some things become extra clear when you're high. heh.

somebody save me... wait, i'm supposed to save myself.

stupid sappy song phase

2006-06-20T14:41:00.000+08:00

for you i will (confidence)
teddy geiger

alright (yeah, yeah)

wandering the streets in a world underneath it all
but nothing seems to be
nothing tastes as sweet as what i can't have
like you and the way that you're twisting your hair round your finger
tonight i'm not afraid to tell you
what i feel about you

oh i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have
and cannonball into the water
i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have
for you i will, for you i will

forgive me if i st-stutter
from all of the clutter in my head
cause i could fall asleep in those eyes
like a water bed
do i seem familiar
i've crossed you in hallways a thousand times
no more camouflage
i want to be exposed
and not be afraid to fall

oh i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have
and cannonball into the water
i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have
for you i will
you always want what you can’t have
but i've got to try
i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have
for you i will, for you i will, for you i will, for you...

if i could dim the lights in the mall
and create a mood yea, i would
shout out your name so it echoes in every room yea

that's what i'd do
that's what i'd do
to get through to you yeah

oh i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have
and cannonball into the water
i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have
for you i will
you always want what you can’t have
but i've got to try
i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have
for you i will, for you i will, for you i will, for you i will...

happy fucking birthday to me (addendum)

2006-06-20T11:39:00.000+08:00

the last 6 hours were better, i guess. thanks bubu! *huggy buggy*

may kumaway downtown... :D

happy fucking birthday to me

2006-06-19T14:59:00.000+08:00

this is soo not one of my better days. i'm giving it 9 more hours before i officially mark it as the worst birthday ever.

thanks to those who greeted though. much appreciated.

movies

2006-06-15T09:13:00.000+08:00

got this from bubu...

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 80 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 168 movie titles on this list. Put your score in header and repost.

( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club- ultimate guy movie
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story- i remember this!
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
( ) My First Mister
( ) The Virgin Suicides

Total: 4/11

(x) The Princess Bride- watched this with ina in france (souviens-toi, ins?) cary elwes rocks!
) AnchorMan: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
(x) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates- love song (311)
(x) The Princess Diaries- *blech* guy
(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement- better guy

Total: 5/12

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp

Total: 7/11

(x) Harry Potter
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
( ) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil I- coolest grid scene ever
(x) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
(x) The Village- lame
( ) Lilo & Stitch

Total: 7/10

( ) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
( ) Signs
(x) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(x) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
( ) Robots

Total: 4/10

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed- all-time fave
( ) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG

Total: 6/12

(x) A Cinderella Story- all-time fave
( ) The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
(x) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber- one was enough
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination- loved the gory parts
(x) Final Destination 2- loved the last part (exploding grill)
( ) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber

Total: 9/14

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
(x) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards

Total: 4/9

(x) The Day After Tomorrow- cool!
(x) Child's Play
(x) Seed of Chucky- jennifer tilly was hilarious
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You- all-time fave
(x) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles- all-time fave
(x) Remember the Titans
(x) Coach Carter- channing forever!
( ) The Grudge
(x) the Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask

Total: 10/14

(x) Bad Boys 2- cool!
( ) Joy Ride
(x) Se7en- edgy cool!
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve- eu forever!
(x) Identity
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I- cult classic
(x) Predator II- cult classic
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown

Total: 10/13

(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss' Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
( ) Frailty
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2

Total: 8/12

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China- all-time fave
(x) The Terminator
(x) Terminator 2

Total: 9/12

(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
(x) Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
(x) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Others
(x) Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
(x) Cruel Intentions- all-time fave
(x) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) Cruel Intentions 3
(x) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
( ) Shrek 2

Total: 15/17

(x) Swimfan
( ) Miracle
(x) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
( ) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
( ) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old-virgin

Total: 4/11

GRAND TOTAL: 102/168

yep, no life indeedy...

random updates

2006-06-06T06:06:00.000+08:00

just wanted to post something on this eventful day...

1. happy birthday chiara and barat!
2. i wanna watch the omen! is it just me or is the kid actually adorable?
3. dex is leaving for canada today- bon voyage!
4. my mp4's semi-busted... crap!
5. watched just friends last night. ryan reynolds is still uber-hot.
6. watched supernatural last saturday night at car's, post-tagaytay. how the hell could i have missed the premiere? jensen ackles is still uber-hot too, although i'd prefer him as alec in dark angel.
7. car's grasshopper squares rock! so does the peach thingamajig... *burp*
8. week-end was packed:

friday night: cibo with the gang, coffee beanery with the gang plus rocco and mira
saturday: tagaytay with car and dex
sunday: wan chai with baraternity et al

* * *

i love this song!

first of summer
urban dub

parked car
this night sky
makes city lights shine like diamonds
our song plays on the radio

we’re living it up
make this night ours
we own the world
i wish this lasts forever
alone with you tonight
further in you feels so right

we're giving it up and just a little more
this heartfelt leap i surrender
arms raised tonight

anywhere with you

drive me away
‘cause the night just feels right
take me away with you tonight
anywhere with you

our song plays on
parked car, night sky
alone with you tonight

here's to impetuosity

2006-06-03T13:30:00.000+08:00

4ever
the veronicas

here we are so what you gonna do?
do i gotta spell it out for you?
i can see that you got other plans for tonight
but i don't really care

size me up you know i beat the best
tick tock no time to rest
let them say what they're gonna say
but tonight i just don't really care

chorus:
come on baby we ain't gonna live 4ever
let me show you all the things that we could do
you know you wanna be together
and i wanna spend the night with you
yeah, yeah with you, yeah, yeah
come with me tonight
we could make the night last 4ever

i've seen it all i've got nothing to prove
come on baby just make your move
follow me let's leave it all behind tonight
like we just don't care

let me take you on the ride of your life
that's what i said alright
they can say what they wanna say
cause tonight i just don't even care

chorus

let's pretend you're mine
we could just pretend, we could just pretend, yeah yeah
you got what i like
you got what i like, i got what you like
oh come on
just one taste and you'll want more

so tell me what you're waiting for

chorus

aack!

2006-06-02T09:33:00.000+08:00

Dear Barbie,
Here is your horoscope for Friday, June 2:

Yes, you're gifted beyond measure -- and your constant fear is that you're not living up to your potential. You're on the right track as long as you're trying to tap your talents. Rome wasn't built in a day.

i knew getting that daily astrological horoscope was a mistake. now i have to read a computer-generated horoscope's (annoyingly accurate) verdict on my life.

* * *

this song has been in my mind for quite some time. hmmm... i wonder if this is a form of transference. i love soft cell's version since it's so edgy cool- the way it should be in the 80s.

tainted love
soft cell

sometimes i feel i've got to
run away - i've got to
get away - from the pain you
drive into the heart of me
the love we share seems to
go nowhere - and i've
lost my light
for i toss and turn i can't sleep at night

ref:
once i ran to you
now i run from you
this tainted love you've given
i give you all a boy could give you
take my tears and that's not nearly all
tainted love, oh oh oh
tainted love

now i know i've got to
run away - i've got to
get away - you don't
really want any more from me
to make things right, you need
someone to hold you tight
and you think love is to pray
but i'm sorry i don't pray that way

refrain

don't touch me please
i can not stand the way you tease
i love you though you hurt me so
now i'm going to pack my things and go
tainted love, oh oh oh (4x)
touch me baby, tainted love (2x)
tainted love, oh oh oh (2x)
tainted love