chronicles of a euphoric spitfire

back from the dead

2007-06-29T09:38:00.000+08:00

it has been ages since i last wrote something here. as usual, i've been buried under an enormous shit heap of travail. god knows why i stick with this... wait, i do know but i'm just too mutton-headed to do anything about it. umm... apologies to the scores of cute lil sheep around the world.

anyhoo, just wanted to write for the sake of writing. i figured it's been ages since i've chronicled anything here, and i'm bound to forget the nice little sprinkles of fairy dust that decorated my otherwise drab existence of the past, what, 5 months?

* * *

china has been wonderful. i've been trying to upload photos in my multiply. alas, work has been brutal enough to prevent me from doing so.

one of my favorites...

saw the pandas, ate peking duck and had a free foot massage in the new olympic village being created for 2008. all excellent experiences for sure. i find myself searching for that patent sense of homecoming i felt when i stepped out of that distant gare in angers, dusty, tired yet eager to start a new chapter of my life. vive la france!

going down from the great wall...

maybe it was because it was just a four-day trip. maybe it was because i was with my family. but when i stepped out of that not-too distant airport and into the bright beijing day, that feeling eluded me.

inside the bus with shobs...

going past the forbidden city, tiananmen square, the great wall of china, and the smaller nooks and crannies of this ancient city, i could see myself settling in with the locals though. beijing has that modern-slash-historic-city vibe going on, which i definitely dig. lots of places to discover and food to gorge on. and the fact that the olympics will be held there on 2008 definitely does not hurt.

group pic at the forbidden city

* * *

club noah isabelle was wonderful as well! i repeat my sentiments after going to el nido last december- palawan trumps bora anyday.

snorkeling, sun bathing and fishing are the primary ingredients for a super vacation before your life takes a decisive turn up shit creek.

* * *

completed the first 4 calls of my cruise project with much aplomb. very interesting project that allowed me to work with various people across the board. plus, it gave me the opportunity to practice my flailing francais. c'est super!

* * *

my birthday was pretty underwhelming... as usual. no hot brazilian guys, no booze and no police hauling people off to jail.

thanks to all the peeps who remembered me on that day. i don't think i deserved it specially right after i forgot to greet 2 of my closest buds on their respective birthdays (the shame...).

the icing on the cake was enzo being suddenly assigned to fix some i.t. thingabob in our office. yay! lunch and merienda with one of the ~~lostest~~ nicest boys in the world. don't worry zo, you're not the only one suffering from memory loss.

* * *

ok, back to being unproductive.

allez ducs allez!!!

2007-02-23T14:31:00.000+08:00

woohoo!!!

my favorite french hockey team kicked ass!!!

félicitations pour gagnant la coupe de france!

anna et mike, j’espère que j'étais là-bas, à bercy, avec vous.

vive les ducs!!! vive l'angers!!!

* * *

Les Ducs d’Angers sacrés à l’issue d’une soirée historique
par Fédération Française de Hockey sur Glace

La finale de la Coupe de France 2007 restera gravée dans les mémoires à plus d’un titre.

En cette soirée de la Saint Valentin, plus de 12 000 amoureux du hockey sur glace s’étaient donnés rendez-vous pour célébrer le retour de leur sport à Paris-Bercy. On retiendra ainsi qu’avec 12 215 spectateurs, un record d’affluence a été établi pour une rencontre de hockey sur glace se déroulant dans ce lieu mythique du sport français.

2 événements importants se déroulaient également en marge de cette finale :

- La remise d’un « plan patinoire » à Monsieur Jean-François Lamour, Ministre de la Jeunesse, des Sports et de la Vie Associative, destiné à favoriser l’émergence d’infrastructures nécessaires à la pratique et au développement du hockey sur glace.

- La signature de conventions de partenariats et d’échanges avec les Fédérations Canadienne et Finlandaise de Hockey sur glace en présence de René Marcil et Bob Nicholson, Présidents de Hockey Canada et Harry Bogomoloff, Vice-Président de la Fédération Finlandaise.

Du côté du jeu, on savait que la finale s’avérerait historique pour le vainqueur, Angers ou Epinal pouvant en effet inaugurer leur palmarès à l’issue de la rencontre.

Après un premier tiers temps indécis, les Ducs d’Angers prenaient le meilleur sur les Dauphins d’Epinal dans les 2 tiers temps suivants et emportaient ainsi la décision finale par 4 buts à 1.

Simon Lacroix était désigné meilleur joueur de la rencontre et le capitaine Martin Lacroix se voyait remettre le trophée « Pete Laliberté » des mains de Luc Tardif et Jean-François Lamour.

Les Angevins pouvaient alors célébrer leur victoire en compagnie de leurs supporters tandis que les joueurs Spinaliens forcément déçus allaient saluer leurs nombreux fans ayant fait le déplacement depuis les Vosges pour les soutenir.

early montage

2007-02-20T09:51:00.000+08:00

not that anyone would notice, but my mobile went kaput last week. it started turning off and starting up again everytime i pressed 4 and finally decided not to revive after the nth time. after threats of mechanical decapitation, drowning and cellslaughter, i finally conceded that i needed to let her go and find a new phone. so if any of you tried to call or text and i didn't reply... hahaha! what's new?

that being said, things i need/want to buy:

1. mobile (i'm trying to decide between nokia 7390, n70 or that hot motorola phone)
2. book case (i found a nice, cheap, functional one at puregold when we went there last sunday. i reckon i'll be able to squeeze around 240 books into it- not even half of my stash- but it'll have to do)
3. exercise machine (given that i absolutely ABHOR going to the gym but need/like physical exercise- unfortunately, we don't have a pool-, this is a must)
4. a whole case of orangina (yup, i'm still jonesing for it)
5. books!

books i NEED to buy:
1. drop dead gorgeous- linda howard
2. undead and unpopular- maryjanice davidson
3. jennifer scales series- maryjanice davidson
4. code name: baby- christina skye
5. code name: blondie- christina skye

ever since i started teaching and my brain cells got much needed exercise, i felt that my quota for romance novels warranted a much deserved increase. so there.

* * *

after putting it off for some time (i've been busy with work, ateneo and bubu), i recently watched al gore's an inconvenient truth. truth be told, i wasn't expecting much. regardless of how interested i am in the subject, i've found that proponents of the reality of global warming and climate change are usually lacking in public speaking skills and style. add the fact that the film is a documentary and you can almost imagine a snoozefest taking place in front of the screen.

however, despite snippets of political and personal footnotes slyly inserted into the chunk that is global warming, i found it to be a very interesting and informative primer on the nature and ramifications of global warming. it tends to be simplistic at times, but considering its audience, it would have to be for the message to get through. al gore is surprisingly capable and electric. his knowledge and passion for the issue is clearly evident. i liked it so much that i showed it to my class in research methods. i felt that they could benefit from it as much as i did and perhaps, since none of them has seen the documentary before, i could make a minute difference in their lives.

going off on a tangent, i just had an edifying epiphany. does this mean i really want to stay in the ivory tower?

* * *

ack!!! i can't believe the bloody result will be given on may! that's 3 bloody months away! boo!!!

for some reason, i'm not as confident about it as before. perhaps it's because i have a lighter grasp of it, or maybe it's because i just know so many people who deserve it more than i do. or maybe it's because a lot of people are expecting me to get it and the thought of failure is gag-inducing.

whatever.

if i get it then yay!!!

if not, i better get started on a contingency plan lickety split.

orangina oh orangina!

2007-02-12T09:28:00.001+08:00

i'm seriously jonesing for orangina.

a late recounting of 2006

2007-01-17T11:08:00.000+08:00

stole this from lenlen (who i really miss, by the way).

what did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before?

visited tours (and ate at a french restaurant all by myself) and nantes
ate pizza with a bunch of hockey players after a great game
went on a shopping binge with anna during sale season
haul big-ass luggages through paris' metro
really went around paris (this included a visit to l'arc de triomphe, versailles, montmarte, sacre coeur, louvre, pigalle moulin rouge, bastille, champs elysee, etc.)
hibernated 3.5 weeks of my life away
got a regular job
paid my own bills
got a raise
got another job: became an instructor
went bar-hopping in manila
seen and swam with a whale shark
went scuba diving ( well, it was an intro dive... but still)
went kayaking
went to bicol, davao and el nido
this feels like a lot so i'll end it here

did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

i didn't have the time to make new year's resolutions last year, but i made some for 2007

did anyone close to you give birth?

as far as i can remember, ira!

did anyone close to you die?

i don't think so...

what countries did you visit?

well, i got back from france and singapore.

what would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006?

a better plan, foresight and passion

what date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

several dates:
19 january 2006: last day in france
6 march 2006: first day at work
18 november 2006: first day as an instructor

what was your biggest achievement of the year?

becoming more mature than i thought possible

what was your biggest failure?

february and march 2006

did you suffer illness or injury?

yes, minor stuff

what was the best thing you bought?

i can't seem to pick one:
a black blazer from camaieu
a blue and green waterfall necklace from lafayette worth EUR 1,5
dark chocolate gloves from morgan
an underwater digital camera for my dad
a box of dustless chalk

whose behavior merited celebration?

mine! and my sister's

whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?

haha! secret.

where did most of your money go?

food, gifts, books, and house bills

what did you get really, really, really excited about?

going shopping during the january sale
visiting versailles
seeing the pyramids at the louvre
going to bicol and el nido
pizza hut's cheezy volcano

what song(s) will always remind you of 2006?

hsm songs: breaking free!
save yourself by stabbing westward
everything and stepping out by kaskade
sugar sugar by frankie j
summer nights by lil' rob
and a lot more...

compared to this time last year, are you:

i. happier or sadder? -- sadder
ii. thinner or fatter? – thinner
iii. richer or poorer? – richer

what do you wish you'd done more?

spend time with old friends

what do you wish you'd done less of?

sulking

how many one-night stands?

heh.

what was your favorite TV program?

supernatural
prison break

do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?

what was the best book you read?

my vampire novels
do-overs
confessions of a not it girl

what was your greatest musical discovery?

stabbing westward
frankie j
kyo

what did you want and get?

maturity

what was your favorite film of this year?

casino royale
the covenant
hsm

what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?

celebrated it with family and friends, 23

what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

longer stay in france
more travel
and something else...

how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?

european casual and corporate

what kept you sane?

reading, bitching, movies, music, friends, bubu

which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?

zizou, until the headbutt
steven strait
vin

what political issue stirred you the most?

hahaha...

who did you miss?

france buddies: anna, tam, danny, jlaure, caro, gege, georges, walid, florian, charlotte, jenna, helen, mansour, omar, stef, claire, jean, mike, mithun, simone, sarah, angela, aurelien, gaston, irina, adriana, phil, till, parrain, guigui, and so many more!

who was the best new person you met?

there were a lot- new friends, some colleagues

tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006:

don't be sad because it's over, be happy because it happened

what was the nicest thing someone told you about yourself?

i'm going to go places
second nicest: seriously, you look thinner. hahaha!

the most touching experience you've had this year?

when i got home and bubu ditched the welcome reception at the airport because she wanted to watch the backstreet boys concert. heh. seriously, when ahia made an effort to hang out with me when we both know we give each other headaches.

what did you like most about yourself this year?

my bank account

what did you hate most about yourself this year?

same old same old

quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

stick your head back in the sand, it's not yet safe out there (if that's not a part of any song out there, someone should seriously consider composing one with that line in it)

was 2006 a good year for you?

in spite of the answer to the previous question, yes.

what was your least favorite moment of the year?

19 january 2006

where were you when 2006 began?

playing a drinking game with a bunch of hockey players in anna and mike's apartment, miles and miles away from my family

who were you with?

see above

where will you be when 2006 ends?

edsa shang, garden wing suite

who will you be with when 2006 ends?

bubu

do you have a new years resolution for 2007?

lots, but i'm not gonna put the list here

what was your favorite month of 2006?

december 2006

did you lose anybody close to you in 2006?

nope!

what was your favorite record from 2006?

ost of the covenant

how many concerts did you see in 2006?

none

did you drink a lot of alchohol in 2006?

yep, while i was in france

do a lot of drugs in 2006?

hahaha!

you do anything you are ashamed of this year?

maybe

how much money did you spend in 2006?

a lot. i'd get my annual statement, but i'm too lazy so yeah, a lot.

what was your proudest moment of 2006?

treating my family out for the very first time
bubu's debut

what was your most embarrassing moment of 2006?

ack, never mind.

if you could go back in time to any moment of 2006 and change something, what would it be?

done more stuff while i was still in france

what are your plans for 2007?

boy oh boy, wouldn't i like to know

how are you different now that the year has ended?

more mature and responsible

what are your wishes for the new year?

lower greenhouse gas emissions
nicer politicians
world peace

updates

2006-12-08T14:13:00.000+08:00

so i haven't posted anything in a while. between preparing my sister's surprise debut, teaching and, oh yeah, working, i didn't really have much free time for myself. it was all candles, papers, seashells, class list, buffet menu, quizzes, layouts, avps, and ops scheds. but all that's over now. well, at least the debut part. hooray for me. another successful debut concluded satisfactorily. i might have prospective clients after that event. maybe i'll become a wedding planner someday. heh. the poor couples. natch!

i'm uber glad that bubu appreciated it. regardless of the fact that several boobs weren't there to celebrate her birthday with her, i could tell that she had fun. but thank the good lord i only have one sister to spoil.

* * *
my fledgling career as an instructor was off to a good start... i think. my potty mouth didn't rear its not-so-ugly head up, i didn't spew venom and my class stayed in their seats until the bell rang, so that's a pretty good start. i'm giving them their second quiz tomorrow. i do believe they are starting to dread my quizzes. i wonder why...

i have this little, fluffy theory percolating in my head. hopefully, i'll be able to understand its significance soon enough.

* * *
ma famille et moi will be going to el nido for a vacation. yay!!! december 22-29 will see me skinny dipping in palawan with a hot brazilian guy. (wow, it just occurred to me that i haven't thought of my prototypical brazilian guy for ages... maybe it's because i've been thinking of shifting to another archetype... natch!) haha! anyway, i'm really glad i decided against the eurotrip with my bro; at least this way, the family will get to spend christmas and new year together, unlike last year when i was in strasbourg and they were in hong kong disneyland. i think i can bear to stay away from europe for a couple more years... maybe less. let's see.

* * *
ok, back to quantitative methods...

i'm happy, damn it!

2006-11-08T14:54:00.001+08:00

i wanna write something in this blog, but my thoughts are just waaay too jumbled up to even attempt untangling them.

ack.

maybe i'll feel better tomorrow after some retail therapy later tonight.

maybe.

i'm happy. i'm happy. i'm happy.

there.

obstinacy usually wins in the end.

my way or the highway

2006-10-26T12:41:00.000+08:00

between work and more work, i barely have time for myself, much less for blogging. this month has been crazy full of office movements, project management and class preparations. yes, i am the newest addition to the *ahem* exalted pool of european studies professors. madame, ambassador m. and ate kai finally got their claws in me. they wouldn't budge so i will be teaching research methods to the lucky juniors this coming semester.

as usual, my dad has been his normal "what the hell do you think you're doing" self regarding the parttime gig. i know he means well, in his traditionally chinese dad way (read: i'm always right and it is always circa 1950s); but i just shudder to think what i'd become if i let him browbeat me into not doing the stuff that i love. one would think that after all that i've done and accomplished, he'd have enough respect and belief in me to let me do things my own way. i know most parents have a hard time letting their kids live their own lives but they should recognize the time when parenting becomes a (fine, mostly) spectator sport and let their kids play however they want to play.

doormat days are back again

2006-10-10T12:47:00.000+08:00

being smart is truly a matter of opinion. take for example this student who graduated magna cum laude. she participated in a lot of demanding extracurricular activities, served in the student government, finished a couple of minors (and almost got a third one, before the lightbulb turned on), and learned how to properly put on make-up (which includes that dastardly invention- the eyelash curler), while slaving away on her major. she has gone to different countries on her own and learned how to properly manage a budget. she can speak 4 languages and knows how to handle drunk morons (or moronic drunks- take your pick), poopy toddlers and irate principals.

what's the egghead up to now?

relegated to doing her sister's reflection paper because the poor thing needs to study for her philo and phil history exams. (no! i-- err... she does not want to discuss the nuances between the tydings-mcduffie act and the hare-hawes-cutting act!)

she seriously needs to get a clue.

* * *

in other news:

1. ate dinner at saisaki last wednesday to celebrate the birthdays of the october boys: olli, say, abz (sept), p, cheng, and arun. ate a lot thanks to paul. went to cheng's house for after-dinner drinks and socializing (polite speak for getting wasted and talking about anything and everything). of course, i just had a glass of red wine, a shot of tequila, a couple of cans of beer, a bottle of sake, and a pack of cigs. heh.

2. stayed at corregidor for the weekend for work/play, where i could have sworn i had a paranormal experience. no, it was not during the warbling in front of the videoke... although the smoke made that part hazy. nor was it during the blackout when i screamed like a girl. all i can say is, no amount of free food will coax me into staying there for another night.

stepping closer to the edge

2006-10-05T14:38:00.000+08:00

for the past number of nights, i've been having disconcertingly weird dreams. although they're not in the tune of t-rexes and swat team commandoes running around in a primordial forest, they have been pretty recurrent with different characters figuring into the script. huh. makes me wonder whether my subconscious is trying to tell me something or if it's the delayed reaction to work-related stress. what's irritating is that i never get to finish them so i'm always left hanging.

* * *

i'm starting to feel that niggling kernel of discontent again. work has been comme ci comme ca at its best and très mauvais at its worst. i miss my friends, both here and abroad. i don't see the gang anymore. i can't go out to blow off steam like i was able to back in france (ah freedom, sweet freedom). i'd give anything for a glass of ice cold faro and a night of brutal ice hockey.

aaaaaagggghhhh!!!!

i want to throw a full-blown temper tantrum but i'll probably just hate myself afterwards for being so damned immature. i think my boss sensed that it was lurking beneath the surface and she has been talking to me about my career path within the company. i think it's great that she sees me in the future of the company and is making a point to give me more responsibilities which would normally be given to a more senior or at least a more experienced employee. but i dunno... sometimes i just wanna rip all their fucking heads off.

if growing up means senility and the inability to make simple decisions then take me to nevernever land, baby.

move along

2006-09-22T12:42:00.000+08:00

i am a beautiful fairy princess.

when in doubt...

2006-09-20T12:36:00.001+08:00

"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."

- Charles De Gaulle, former French President

reminiscing france (again)

2006-09-06T14:59:00.000+08:00

last saturday, i was supposed to have lunch with my "french" pals- cher, aims, liszy, camilla, ina, laurent, nicole, and gabrielle. in honor of our anniversary (so to speak), this lunch was to welcome back ina, say bon voyage to aimee and camilla who are leaving for beijing and london respectively, and meet up with bona fide french people who are studying/working in our fair country. unfortunately, only half showed up- me, aims, ina, and laurent; the rest had prior plans which runneth over lunch time, or didn't have transpo to get to shang.

although we did miss the others (sorely :( ), we had a great lunch at cpk while talking about traveling misadventures, french politics, china possibilities, and just about anything under the sun. it was a good thing aimee and i met up last saturday at sumosam because we were still catching up on everything from china to movies to fond memories of france. i missed ina dearly specially after the odd week i spent in her dorm at la roche. i felt that that week bonded us in a way that wasn't possible in school. she was full of stories about her adventures and misadventures in cute but treacherous spain, and in a quaint little farm in the boondocks of france. i haven't seen laurent since my week at la roche, but he definitely has seen better days. as ina said, he looked like he spent time in jail. huh. is filipino food that bad or is laurent just missing his cheese (and other delectable french cuisine)?

hopefully, we can have another get together soon (albeit sans aimee and camilla :( ). since ina mentioned that i've been wanting to practice my french, laurent kindly offered to set up a party with french people so that we can meet new people and practice my abysmal french.

* * *

i love this song!!!

over my head (cable car)
the fray

i never knew
i never knew that everything was falling through
that everyone i knew was waiting on a queue
to turn and run when all i needed was the truth
but that's how it's got to be
it's coming down to nothing more than apathy
i'd rather run the other way than stay and see
the smoke and who's still standing when it clears

chorus:
everyone knows i'm in
over my head
over my head
with eight seconds left in overtime
she's on your mind
she's on your mind

let's rearrange
i wish you were a stranger i could disengage
just say that we agree and then never change
soften a bit until we all just get along
but that's disregard
find another friend and you discard
as you lose the argument in a cable car
hanging above as the canyon comes between

chorus 2x

and suddenly i become a part of your past
i'm becoming the part that don't last
i'm losing you and its effortless
without a sound we lose sight of the ground
in the throw around
never thought that you wanted to bring it down
i won't let it go down till we torch it ourselves

chorus

everyone knows
she's on your mind
everyone knows i'm in over my head
i'm in over my head
i'm in over...

chorus

en souvenir

2006-08-31T15:20:00.000+08:00

c’était une année depuis je suis partie pour france, et la france me manque beaucoup.

j’ai étudié dans angers pour un semestre- appris le français et la gestion, fait beaucoup d’amis et visité beaucoup de villes. j’ai mangé la cuisine française. j’ai fait les fêtes tous les soirs. je suis tombé amoureux fou…

en fait, je pense que les quatre mois et demi en france étaient le meilleur de ma vie.

bon anniversaire mes sœurs angevines.

revisiting college

2006-08-30T15:21:00.000+08:00

we celebrated anj's birthday last saturday with a sit-down dinner prepared by anj and her squeeze, p. it was a fantastic dinner- great salad with flavorful dressing, roasted chicken, pesto pasta, choco fondue, brewed iced tea (yum!), and lotsa bubblies. as usual, the get together with the gang was nostalgic, funny and serious all at the same time. reminiscing about college and talking about work tend to do that, specially with frey peppering the conversation with his corny ha-ha jokes and comments. sadly, kai kai and val weren't able to go- which was probably why the guy-girl ratio was abnormally high on the guy's side. ;p

* * *

i woke up last wednesday feeling... weird. sad. exasperated. relieved. panicky.

the fso written exams started that wednesday and ran 'til friday. and i wasn't in the dfa building feeling sick and about to hork (and expulse in other ways), or frantically trying to remember the most recent of current events.

i realized a couple of months ago that i was going to blow off the written exams like i did last year. except this time, i didn't have the legitimate excuse (to myself) of studying in france. i feel exasperated and a bit guilty for not pushing it this time around, specially since i almost got into trouble filing the damned application last may.

for the better part of my college years, i've always assumed that i will be entering the foreign service. now, i know i'm not. at least, not yet.

* * *

more than a year out of college, things are still the same yet, at the same time, changing at the speed of light. i find myself wondering what next year would bring.

high school musical overload

2006-08-23T13:56:00.000+08:00

and so, the lss rears its (not-so-)ugly head again. i loooove disney's high school musical. i can watch it over and over again.

start of something new

living in my own world
didn't understand
that anything can happen
when you take a chance

i never believed in
what i couldn't see
i never opened my heart
to all the possibilities
i know that something has changed
never felt this way
and right here tonight

chorus:
this could be the start
of something new
it feels so right
to be here with you
and now looking in your eyes
i feel in my heart
the start of something new

now who'd have ever thought that
we'd both be here tonight
and the world looks so much brighter
with you by my side
i know that something has changed
never felt this way
i know it for real

[chorus]

i never knew that it could happen
till it happened to me
i didn't know it before
but now it's easy to see

it's a start
of something new
it feels so right
to be here with you
and now looking in your eyes
i feel in my heart

that it's the start
of something new
it feels so right
to be here with you
and now looking in your eyes
i feel in my heart
the start of something new
start of something new

get'cha head in the game

coach said to fake right
and break left
watch out for the pick
and keep an eye on defense
gotta run the give and go
and take the ball to the hole
but don't be afraid
to shoot the outside "j"

just keep ya head in the game
just keep ya head in the game

and don't be afraid to shoot the outside "j"
just keep ya head in the game

u gotta get'cha get'cha head in the game
we gotta get our, get our, get our, get our head in the game(repeat 3x)

let's make sure
that we get the rebound
'cause when we get it
then the crowd will go wild
a second chance
gotta grab it and go
maybe this time
we'll hit the right notes

wait a minute
it's not the time or place
wait a minute
get my head in the game
wait a minute
get my head in the game
wait a minute
wait a minute

i gotta get my, get my head in the game
you gotta get'cha, get'cha, get'cha, get'cha head in the game(repeat 3x)

why am I feeling so wrong
my head's in the game but my heart's in the song
she makes this feel so right

should I go for it
better shake this, yikes!

i gotta get my, get my head in the game
you gotta get'cha, get'cha, get'cha, get'cha head in the game(repeat 4x)

what i've been looking for

troy:
it’s hard to believe
that i couldn’t see
you were always there beside me

gabriella:
thought i was alone
with no one to hold

both:
but you were always right beside me
this feeling’s like no other
i want you to know

chorus
i’ve never had someone that knows me like you do
the way you do
i’ve never had someone as good for me as you
no one like you
so lonely before i finally found
what i’ve been looking for

breaking free

troy:
we’re soarin’, flyin’
there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach

gabriella:
if we’re trying
so we’re breaking free

troy:
you know the world can see us
in a way that’s different than who we are

gabriella:
creating space between us
‘til we’re separate hearts

both:
but your faith it gives me strength
strength to believe

chorus #1
troy:
we’re breakin’ free
gabriella:
we’re soarin’
troy:
flyin’
both:
there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach
troy:
if we’re trying
both:
yeah, we’re breaking free
troy:
oh, we’re breakin’ free
gabriella:
ohhhh

troy:
can you feel it building
like a wave the ocean just can’t control
gabriella:
connected by a feeling
ohhh, in our very souls
both:
rising ‘til it lifts us up
so every one can see

chorus #2
troy:
we’re breakin’ free
gabriella:
we’re soarin’
troy:
flyin’
both:
there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach
troy:
if we’re trying
yeah we’re breaking free
gabriella:
Ohhhh runnin’
troy:
climbin’
to get to that place
both:
to be all that we can be
troy:
now’s the time
both:
so we’re breaking free
troy:
we’re breaking free
gabriella:
ohhh, yeah

troy:
more than hope more than faith
gabriella:
this is true this is fate and together
both:
we see it comin’
troy:
more than you more than me
gabriella:
not a want, but a need
both:
both of us breakin’ free

chorus #3
gabriella:
soarin’
troy:
flyin’
both:
there’s not a star in heaven that we can’t reach
if we’re trying
troy:
yeah we’re breaking free
gabriella:
breaking free
we're runnin’
troy:
ohhhh, climbin’
both:
to get to the place to be all that we can be
now’s the time
troy:
now’s the time
gabriella:
so we’re breaking free
troy:
ohhh, we’re breaking free
gabriella:
ohhhh

both:
you know the world can see us
in a way that’s different than who we are

the doldrums

2006-07-31T12:55:00.000+08:00

for the past 3 weeks i've been experiencing the doldrums. i'm taking this as a bad sign since it's not showing any signs of abating. i used to be able to snap out of this by reading whatever novels i have on hand or annoying the crap out of my brother; but now, even reading mr. perfect or throwing away the latest "secret" stash of ciggies is fast losing its appeal.

it makes me wonder whether a quick trip to france (or just about anywhere) will cure this latest edition of the blahs, or will only exacerbate the situation by making me long for something which i cannot have as of now.

my personal mantra of being proactive is slowly being debunked as a clichéd effort to reach for something which might not be there. being an over-achieving do-gooder has its perks, make no mistake about it, but as of the moment, i rather doubt that it is worth the utter aggravation of ubiquitous dissatisfaction.

that being said, i will put all of my efforts into emulating my long-time hero: ferris bueller.

save ferris!

updates on my so-called life

2006-07-11T13:07:00.000+08:00

alright, so kai kai has been demanding for an update. i don't know why i should bother since nothing interesting has been happening in my life. same old same old. maybe when one is stuck inside a chem or a bio lab dissecting cats or whatnot, even the most dreary of your friends' lives will seem more interesting than... watching cheese mold. (love you lots kai kai! :D)

anyhoo, i've watched the nba finals. got super disappointed that the mavs lost. normally, i really wouldn't care but that's the effect of having kai kai go on and on about her german god (a.k.a. dirk nowitzki) :). wasn't able to watch the world cup, but have been following up on the latest. was also super disappointed that france lost. heard it was a mediocre match, whose sole highlight (well, more of an amazingly unbelievable moment- and not in a good way) was when zizou headbutted materazzi. don't really have an opinion about that for now, but i'm just disappointed zizou wasn't able to end his glorious career with a second world cup win for france. he was just unbelievable in the match against brazil. bravo!

i've been chatting with my french friends lately. they all told me that my french is better than before. haha! merci beaucoup, mes amis. that was definitely an ego booster since i haven't been practicing, although i have been watching several french movies. i guess they've been helping.

what's not been helping, on the other hand, is the total lack of focus i have on my career path. i know, i know. this is an old and tired saw that i've been yammering about since god knows when; but i can't help but feel that i'm in a rut... a vocational rut. with too many things that i want to do and too little time, i can't help but feel pressured that everyone else seems to have no trouble at all deciphering where they want to be in their lives. more and more, i get this feeling that finding my dream job has distressingly parallel characteristics to finding the perfect pair of boots. you have to try each and every pair that catches your eye in order to cross out what you don't want... or much worse, add to those that you do lust after. so now that i have a nice pair of 3-inch black boots, with cute buckles on the sides, that come up to my calves; i'm lusting after a pair of 1-inch dark chocolate brown pointy ones, that come up to my calves. there is just no reasoning with my mind or my ego.

i just need time, space, vampire novels, and a whole lot of dark belgian chocolates to figure out a cure for my norealvocationitis. heavy on the time. and maybe add a good dose of weed. they say some things become extra clear when you're high. heh.

somebody save me... wait, i'm supposed to save myself.

stupid sappy song phase

2006-06-20T14:41:00.000+08:00

for you i will (confidence)
teddy geiger

alright (yeah, yeah)

wandering the streets in a world underneath it all
but nothing seems to be
nothing tastes as sweet as what i can't have
like you and the way that you're twisting your hair round your finger
tonight i'm not afraid to tell you
what i feel about you

oh i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have
and cannonball into the water
i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have
for you i will, for you i will

forgive me if i st-stutter
from all of the clutter in my head
cause i could fall asleep in those eyes
like a water bed
do i seem familiar
i've crossed you in hallways a thousand times
no more camouflage
i want to be exposed
and not be afraid to fall

oh i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have
and cannonball into the water
i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have
for you i will
you always want what you can’t have
but i've got to try
i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have
for you i will, for you i will, for you i will, for you...

if i could dim the lights in the mall
and create a mood yea, i would
shout out your name so it echoes in every room yea

that's what i'd do
that's what i'd do
to get through to you yeah

oh i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have
and cannonball into the water
i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have
for you i will
you always want what you can’t have
but i've got to try
i'm gonna muster every ounce of confidence i have
for you i will, for you i will, for you i will, for you i will...

happy fucking birthday to me (addendum)

2006-06-20T11:39:00.000+08:00

the last 6 hours were better, i guess. thanks bubu! *huggy buggy*

may kumaway downtown... :D

happy fucking birthday to me

2006-06-19T14:59:00.000+08:00

this is soo not one of my better days. i'm giving it 9 more hours before i officially mark it as the worst birthday ever.

thanks to those who greeted though. much appreciated.

movies

2006-06-15T09:13:00.000+08:00

got this from bubu...

SUPPOSEDLY if you've seen over 80 movies, you have no life. Mark the ones you've seen. There are 168 movie titles on this list. Put your score in header and repost.

( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
( ) Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club- ultimate guy movie
(x) Starsky and Hutch
(x) Neverending Story- i remember this!
( ) Blazing Saddles
( ) Airplane
( ) My First Mister
( ) The Virgin Suicides

Total: 4/11

(x) The Princess Bride- watched this with ina in france (souviens-toi, ins?) cary elwes rocks!
) AnchorMan: The Legend of Ron Burgandy
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
( ) Labyrinth
( ) Saw
( ) Saw II
(x) White Noise
( ) White Oleander
( ) Anger Management
(x) 50 First Dates- love song (311)
(x) The Princess Diaries- *blech* guy
(x) The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement- better guy

Total: 5/12

(x) Scream
(x) Scream 2
(x) Scream 3
(x) Scary Movie
( ) Scary Movie 2
( ) Scary Movie 3
(x) Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
( ) American Wedding
( ) American Pie Band Camp

Total: 7/11

(x) Harry Potter
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
( ) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil I- coolest grid scene ever
(x) Resident Evil 2
(x) The Wedding Singer
( ) Little Black Book
(x) The Village- lame
( ) Lilo & Stitch

Total: 7/10

( ) Finding Nemo
( ) Finding Neverland
( ) Signs
(x) The Grinch
( ) Texas Chainsaw Massacre
(x) White Chicks
( ) Butterfly Effect
(x) 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
( ) Robots

Total: 4/10

(x) Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
(x) Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
( ) Along Came Polly
(x) Deep Impact
( ) KingPin
(x) Never Been Kissed- all-time fave
( ) Meet The Parents
( ) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
( ) Joe Dirt
(x) KING KONG

Total: 6/12

(x) A Cinderella Story- all-time fave
( ) The Terminal
(x) The Lizzie McGuire Movie
(x) Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber- one was enough
( ) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination- loved the gory parts
(x) Final Destination 2- loved the last part (exploding grill)
( ) Final Destination 3
(x) Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
(x) Flubber

Total: 9/14

( ) Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
(x) Practical Magic
( ) Chicago
(x) Ghost Ship
( ) From Hell
(x) Hellboy
( ) Secret Window
( ) I Am Sam
(x) The Whole Nine Yards

Total: 4/9

(x) The Day After Tomorrow- cool!
(x) Child's Play
(x) Seed of Chucky- jennifer tilly was hilarious
( ) Bride of Chucky
(x) Ten Things I Hate About You- all-time fave
(x) Just Married
( ) Gothika
(x) Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles- all-time fave
(x) Remember the Titans
(x) Coach Carter- channing forever!
( ) The Grudge
(x) the Mask
( ) Son Of The Mask

Total: 10/14

(x) Bad Boys 2- cool!
( ) Joy Ride
(x) Se7en- edgy cool!
(x) Ocean's Eleven
(x) Ocean's Twelve- eu forever!
(x) Identity
( ) Lone Star
(x) Bedazzled
(x) Predator I- cult classic
(x) Predator II- cult classic
( ) The Fog
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown

Total: 10/13

(x) Independence Day
( ) Cujo
( ) A Bronx Tale
(x) Darkness Falls
(x) ET
(x) Children of the Corn
( ) My Boss' Daughter
(x) Maid in Manhattan
( ) Frailty
(x) War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2

Total: 8/12

( ) Best Bet
(x) How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
(x) She's All That
( ) Calendar Girls
( ) Sideways
(x) Mars Attacks
(x) Event Horizon
(x) Ever After
(x) Forrest Gump
(x) Big Trouble in Little China- all-time fave
(x) The Terminator
(x) Terminator 2

Total: 9/12

(x) X-Men
(x) X2
(x) Spider-Man
(x) Spider-Man 2
(x) Sky High
(x) Jeepers Creepers
(x) Jeepers Creepers 2
(x) Catch Me If You Can
(x) The Others
(x) Freaky Friday
(x) Reign of Fire
(x) Cruel Intentions- all-time fave
(x) Cruel Intentions 2
( ) Cruel Intentions 3
(x) The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
( ) Shrek 2

Total: 15/17

(x) Swimfan
( ) Miracle
(x) Old School
( ) The Notebook
( ) K-Pax
(x) Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring
( ) Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers
( ) Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King
(x) A Walk to Remember
( ) Boogeyman
( ) The 40-year-old-virgin

Total: 4/11

GRAND TOTAL: 102/168

yep, no life indeedy...

random updates

2006-06-06T06:06:00.000+08:00

just wanted to post something on this eventful day...

1. happy birthday chiara and barat!
2. i wanna watch the omen! is it just me or is the kid actually adorable?
3. dex is leaving for canada today- bon voyage!
4. my mp4's semi-busted... crap!
5. watched just friends last night. ryan reynolds is still uber-hot.
6. watched supernatural last saturday night at car's, post-tagaytay. how the hell could i have missed the premiere? jensen ackles is still uber-hot too, although i'd prefer him as alec in dark angel.
7. car's grasshopper squares rock! so does the peach thingamajig... *burp*
8. week-end was packed:

friday night: cibo with the gang, coffee beanery with the gang plus rocco and mira
saturday: tagaytay with car and dex
sunday: wan chai with baraternity et al

* * *

i love this song!

first of summer
urban dub

parked car
this night sky
makes city lights shine like diamonds
our song plays on the radio

we’re living it up
make this night ours
we own the world
i wish this lasts forever
alone with you tonight
further in you feels so right

we're giving it up and just a little more
this heartfelt leap i surrender
arms raised tonight

anywhere with you

drive me away
‘cause the night just feels right
take me away with you tonight
anywhere with you

our song plays on
parked car, night sky
alone with you tonight

here's to impetuosity

2006-06-03T13:30:00.000+08:00

4ever
the veronicas

here we are so what you gonna do?
do i gotta spell it out for you?
i can see that you got other plans for tonight
but i don't really care

size me up you know i beat the best
tick tock no time to rest
let them say what they're gonna say
but tonight i just don't really care

chorus:
come on baby we ain't gonna live 4ever
let me show you all the things that we could do
you know you wanna be together
and i wanna spend the night with you
yeah, yeah with you, yeah, yeah
come with me tonight
we could make the night last 4ever

i've seen it all i've got nothing to prove
come on baby just make your move
follow me let's leave it all behind tonight
like we just don't care

let me take you on the ride of your life
that's what i said alright
they can say what they wanna say
cause tonight i just don't even care

chorus

let's pretend you're mine
we could just pretend, we could just pretend, yeah yeah
you got what i like
you got what i like, i got what you like
oh come on
just one taste and you'll want more

so tell me what you're waiting for

chorus

aack!

2006-06-02T09:33:00.000+08:00

Dear Barbie,
Here is your horoscope for Friday, June 2:

Yes, you're gifted beyond measure -- and your constant fear is that you're not living up to your potential. You're on the right track as long as you're trying to tap your talents. Rome wasn't built in a day.

i knew getting that daily astrological horoscope was a mistake. now i have to read a computer-generated horoscope's (annoyingly accurate) verdict on my life.

* * *

this song has been in my mind for quite some time. hmmm... i wonder if this is a form of transference. i love soft cell's version since it's so edgy cool- the way it should be in the 80s.

tainted love
soft cell

sometimes i feel i've got to
run away - i've got to
get away - from the pain you
drive into the heart of me
the love we share seems to
go nowhere - and i've
lost my light
for i toss and turn i can't sleep at night

ref:
once i ran to you
now i run from you
this tainted love you've given
i give you all a boy could give you
take my tears and that's not nearly all
tainted love, oh oh oh
tainted love

now i know i've got to
run away - i've got to
get away - you don't
really want any more from me
to make things right, you need
someone to hold you tight
and you think love is to pray
but i'm sorry i don't pray that way

refrain

don't touch me please
i can not stand the way you tease
i love you though you hurt me so
now i'm going to pack my things and go
tainted love, oh oh oh (4x)
touch me baby, tainted love (2x)
tainted love, oh oh oh (2x)
tainted love

x men, old friends and artistic license

2006-05-29T13:05:00.000+08:00

being the x men fan that i am, i made it a point to watch the last stand as soon as it opened and suffice to say, i was not disappointed by the way it turned out. hugh jackman was in fine form as wolverine and kelsey grammer shined as beast. but the mutant who totally took center stage, regardless of his small role, was angel. i dunno if it was the wings or his countenance, but man, he rocked!

i was disappointed that they killed cyclops off so early in the movie but i guess they needed to do that in order to establish storm's eventual leadership over the team. i hated juggernaut's helmet (who's the asshat responsible for that?) , but he made up for it by being entertaining: "don't you know who i am? i'm the juggernaut, bitch!"

next movies i'm looking forward to are: casino royale (eventhough i don't like the look of the new bond), pirates of the caribbean 2 and nacho libre.

* * *

dex picked me and car up last saturday to chill at rockwell. we walked around for an hour or so, eventually forgoing the movies and eating there. torn between going to greenbelt and going back to timog, we finally decided to eat at alfredo's (tomas morato) because i was craving for steak and they sort of got infected by it. as absurd as it may seem, the violent downpour was the perfect accompaniment to the tenderloin steak i was happily masticating.

after that fabulous dinner, dex started craving for wasabi's crème brûlée, so we went back to makati (at this point, it becomes obvious we didn't need to worry about guzzling the gas). while dex and car started tossing back alcoholic beverages and crème brûlée, i was having a deeply personal and religious experience with wasabi's green tea cheesecake (heaven wrapped in dark chocolate). after a vodka ice, a sayonara and a couple of desserts, we decided to go back to dex's to play pool. after several wins and a loss (courtesy of dex- turd!), we decided to call it a night at 0315 in the morning.

* * *

dex is one of my oldest guy friends. although he's often obnoxious and a turd, he's one of the few i can really talk to about anything. he's one of those who go out of their way to help out a friend, and he wouldn't hesitate to tell you the ugly truth if that's what you really need to hear (except if it goes against his primary purpose in life: landing as many chicas as he can). but the main reason i put up with him is because he understands my love for pool- plus, he has his own pool table and one of the most bitchin' sticks i've ever handled. heh. ;p

we haven't seen each other since the fag decided to go to canada, so it's a good thing he came back eventhough it's just for a month. if my dad really decides to go to vancouver next month, then i can look forward to dex chauffering me around and the endless food trips he was enticing me with.

cool.

* * *

i always had great respect and love for artistic license. in a white-canvassed world painted with blacks and grays, you need a rainbow of colors to make it a little bit more interesting- but not so much that you enter an alternate psychedelic universe.

as janey briggs's dad so aptly put it: quit dicking around, honey.

the da vinci code et al

2006-05-22T14:13:00.000+08:00

i finally watched the da vinci code last saturday night with kai kai and anj. while i maintain my adamant opinion about tom hanks (boo!), i have to admit that i really liked the movie. i miss france so much and this afforded me with a chance to see paris again, and to practice my fast-dwindling french listening skills. while i do not necessarily approve of the changes they made in the movie with respect to the book, i felt that, perhaps, they were needed in order to inject spontaneity in such a notorious plot, and, mayhap, make the story more palatable for the wider range of audiences.

so my evaluation would be:
1. loved paul bettany as silas. i loved him as the wickedly witty chaucer in a knight's tale, and i still love him as the tortured-yet-sinister silas in da vinci.
2. pretty audrey tautou is a passable sophie. it's a good thing she outgrew her amelie character.
3. i never imagined ian mckellen as leigh teabing; but now that he did it, i cannot imagine anyone else doing it.
4. jean reno is the ultimate staple french dude. i loved him in godzilla (chew gum to look american) and he's great in portraying bezu fache.
5. i hate tom hanks (still!)
6. my favorite part of the movie was the last part- when hanks went back to the louvre to pay homage to mary magdalene's supposed resting place. everything was perfect: the setting, the music, (fine!) the awe on hanks' (ugly mug) face as he knelt down.

soo yeah, i'd say it was worth watching.

* * *

i hate myself for splurging on books this week, but what can i do?

i bought a couple of mjds: undead and unappreciated (eventhough i already have the e-book), and undead and unreturnable.

i want:
1. mjd's dead and loving it
2. mjd's undead and unpopular
3. christine feehan's dark demon
4. john perkins' confessions of an economic hitman

my birthday's coming up (sort of) *hint* *hint*

* * *

i can't wait for x-men: the last stand!!!

undead and unreturnable!

2006-05-19T10:30:00.000+08:00

i got the latest maryjanice davidson!!! as a faithful betsy follower- this made my day. promenade was chockfull of da vinci moviegoers and i wasn't able to grab a coveted ticket. who the bloody hell cares?

a. i hate tom hanks (i still say that bill pullman is the ideal robert langdon)
b. i have a great copy of undead and unreturnable *swoon*
c. i hate tom hanks

really. i sneered at forrest gump.

looks like the next betsy book is undead and unpopular. can't wait!

idle minds...

2006-05-18T10:04:00.000+08:00

... make for several interesting delusions (maybe).

given the fact that i'm handling 7 odd projects all at the same time, it came as a shock when i found myself at loose ends yesterday (and today and probably tomorrow, perhaps even next week). with nothing better to do than matter-load and search for obscure facts, i felt my mind beginning to wander into the nasty realms of what-ifs and the-grass-is-greener-elsewhere while reading about the clearstream issue in france and the scientific credibility issues in china and korea.

while learning about a new industry is always an exciting adventure, i'm not feeling a sense of accomplishment or satisfaction with the amount of neurons i'm flexing. i miss the harried pace i've kept during high school and college when everything is happening at the same time and i really have to step up to keep the things i'm juggling aloft. academic challenges were never enough, i had to have something extra to keep my blood pumping. sadly enough, my current adrenaline rushes are now limited to:
1. b action movies, which i so love (and which anton absolutely sneers at),
2. my paranormal novels involving vampires, navy seals and witty repartees,
3. sporadic night gimmiks reminiscent of france, and
4. playing couch commando with my sister (she who controls the remote, controls the world).

obviously, something needs to be done about this pathetic state of affairs before yesterday's awry thoughts of becoming a meteorologist or stormchaser take deeper root.

* * *

i attended juan caguicla's parispace/paristreet photo exhibit last may 16. sponsored by the french embassy, the event was well-attended and boasted of fantastic photos. i was able to meet and renew my acquaintance with embassy peeps like elinor, claire, sandrine, jerome, and raphaele. needless to say, i took shameless advantage of this event to brush up on my french, meet new people and troll for work.

because i was with my party-hearty brother and his similarly-dispositioned friend, we ended up in cuisine, beside embassy, for another party- woo woo. cher invited me to go to the launch of their new magazine- girlfriend- the next day, but i was just too tired to go. sorry cherbear.

* * *

i had no idea bull sharks could tolerate fresh water. cool!

bicol photos

2006-05-08T15:14:00.000+08:00

photos as promised.

this is one of my favorite shots. reminds me of... gorillas in the mist. hahaha...

mount mayon: you can't see it here but there's smoke coming out of the crater

one of my favorite shots: quite difficult to take as the bus was bouncing around quite a bit

my partners in crime... as well as in bullshit: john, josh, lulu, pat, and bubu

poor lulu [a.k.a. tom (as in cruise, as in mi3)- i dunno why, ask bubu]

yeah yeah, we all know this reminds us of demi...

best effing halo-halo i've ever had

big-ass dog vs. big-ass indiana wannabe (guess who'll win)

my collection of irreverent mayon photos:

bubu plugging the hole... and trying to look cute while doing it.

ang sarap magkape pag umaga...

et finalement...

la pièce de résistance

bubu and i

lunch at donsol right before whale shark watching

famous cagsawa ruins: mayon's in the background, mostly covered by the clouds

basilica de la penafrancia

taking the bicol express

2006-05-05T16:30:00.000+08:00

i wanted to wait until after i've uploaded my photos to write about my bicol experience, but i couldn't wait. plus, it takes me ages to upload photos (case-in-point: my davao photos are still in my digicam along with my newer bicol ones ;p )

attendance check:
*barbie*bubu*powers*parentals*ahiaden*achimel*pat*josh*john*lulu*
*unclewilliamnauntiecaroline*matthew*yoyo*unclejohnnauntiejosie*
*angel*unclewillienauntie*unclengo*ricky*titaamy*lola*kids*et al...*

itinerary:

april 28
2000- depart from mcdo retiro
0730- arrive at tabaco city (gardenia hotel)
0830- breakfast
1000- shopping for handicrafts
1200- edson's for lunch
1330- mayon resthouse
1500- philceramics
1630- halohalo house (yum!)
1730- mayon photoshoot
1830- harbor
1930- dinner
2230- cards!

april 29
0500- wake-up call
0545- breakfast
0630- depart for donsol
0900- arrive at the whale shark tourism office
1200- lunch
1330- whale shark watching (cool!)
1430- swimming around the coral reefs
1530- shower at b's hotel room (muchos gracias, b!)
1645- depart for legazpi city
1900- dinner at chinese restaurant
2100- arrive at hotel

april 30
0600- wake-up call
0630- breakfast
0730- depart for morales beach (black beach!)
0830- arrive at beach (swimming heaven)
1030- shower at hotel
1130- depart hotel
1230- lunch/cagsawa ruins/shopping
1430- depart cagsawa ruins
1530- pili nut place
1620- pancit canton place
1800- basilica de penafrancia
1900- dinner at roberto's
2030- depart for manila

may 01
0230- forced to wake up because of the shrill screams of a pig *ehrm* human being in pain, who turned out to be little matthew screeching with joy at an ungodly hour while we were parked in a 24-hour chowking restaurant in the middle of nowhere (angry? who's angry? i'm not angry...)
0530- arrive at manila
0600- shower (with eyes wide shut)
0730- (reluctantly) left for work

* * *

barbie's top 10 for bicol:

1. seeing an honest-to-goodness butanding a.k.a whale shark up close and personal
2. the local halo-halo (yum!!!)
3. black sand beach at morales
4. bicol express... was never this yummy
5. the peeps i'm with (bubu, pat, lulu, josh, and john: great busmates! plus, i've never learned how to bullshit the way that i did with you guys. haha! :D)
6. mayon volcano
7. snorkeling over the coral reefs in donsol
8. jumping out of the boat on my way to see the butanding (seriously, i've always wanted to abandon ship)
9. pili butternut (yum!)
10. steal (the movie we never finished on the bus)

* * *

photos to follow.

random updates

2006-04-27T15:00:00.000+08:00

this is getting to be a habit...

1. watched the librarian last night. it's a cool movie which involves the spear of destiny yet again. (yet again, because i just watched hbo's blockbuster movie of the month: constantine) the librarian is in charge of safekeeping mankind's greatest secrets. i like how they portrayed shangrila, nestled in the awesome himalayan mountains. plus, kelly hu rocks as an evil rocker chick in the movie.

2. i finally got my computer... and lost three-fourths of my desk space. heh. you win some, you lose some. anyhoo, thanks for the fast work i.t., simply remarkable! if you were any faster, you wouldn't have a job anymore...

3. whatever happened to the gossip girls movie??! i wanna see blair, serena and nate in action.

4. i'll be going to bicol this friday night and will be coming back early tuesday morning. hello whale sharks, mayon volcano and pili nuts!!! goodbye japanese shipowners' association and evil business proposals!!! (i gave a d to regent and a borderline d-/f to i.t.) [note to self: bring red ballpen to office tomorrow. it's much more satisfying to check documents with a bloody red pen. i didn't really get a kick out of it using my black pen. maybe i should reconsider a career in the academe.]

5. i want to go to italy... 6 months in the sun-dappled mediterranean country sipping bellinis, surveying the countryside, cruising the riviera, and ogling the locals should do it.

spoiled?

2006-04-26T15:01:00.000+08:00

got this from anj who got it from ate jess. obviously, there's a dearth of work to be done in the office. :)

Do you have:
(x) your own cell phone
(x) a television in your bedroom
(x) an iPod/MP3 player (mp4!)
( ) a photo printer
(x) your own phone line (in the office though)
( ) TiVo or a generic digital video recorder
(x) high-speed internet access (i.e., not dialup) (this is iffy, in the office as well)
( ) a surround sound system in bedroom
(x) DVD player in bedroom
( ) at least a hundred DVDs (with my dad in his buy-lots-of-dvds phase... soon)
( ) a childfree bathroom
( ) your own in-house office (somehow, i don't think the kitchen counts)
( ) a pool (i wish!!!)
( ) a guest house
( ) a game room
( ) a queen-size bed or larger (i wish!!!)
( ) a stocked bar (no bar, but we're sure stocked c/o my brother)
( ) a working dishwasher
( ) an icemaker (what? the freezer isn't enough?)
(x) a working washer and dryer (dryer only)
(x) more than 20 pairs of shoes (together with my mom and shobs)
( ) at least ten things from a designer store
( ) expensive sunglasses (hell no...)
( ) framed original art (not lithographs or prints)
( ) Egyptian cotton sheets or towels
( ) a multi-speed bike (not for someone who doesn't know how to ride a bike)
( ) a gym membership (snort! yeah right!)
( ) large exercise equipment at home (it's called a bed...)
( ) your own set of golf clubs (i sincerely believe that golf is for old fogeys... and anya)
( ) a pool table (I WISH!!!)
( ) a tennis court
(x) local access to a lake, large pond, or the sea (does tagaytay highlands count? )
( ) your own pair of skis
( ) enough camping gear for a weekend trip in an isolated area
( ) a boat
( ) a jet ski
( ) a neighborhood committee membership
( ) a beach house or a vacation house/cabin
( ) wealthy family members
(x) two or more family cars
( ) a walk-in closet or pantry
(x) a yard
( ) a hammock
( ) a personal trainer
( ) good credit
( ) expensive jewelry
( ) a designer bag that required being on a waiting list to get
( ) at least $100 cash in your possession right now
( ) more than two credit cards bearing your name (not counting gas cards or debit cards)
( ) a stock portfolio
(x) passport
( ) a horse (i wish)
( ) a trust fund (either for you or created by you)
( ) private medical insurance
(x) a college degree, and no outstanding student loans

Do you:
( ) shop for non-needed items for yourself (like clothes, jewelry, electronics) at least once a week
( ) do your regular grocery shopping at high-end or specialty stores
(x) pay someone else to clean your house, do dishes, or launder your clothes (not counting dry-cleaning)
(x) go on weekend mini-vacations (tagaytay highlands forever)
( ) send dinners back with every flaw
(x) wear perfume or cologne (not body spray)
( ) regularly get your hair styled or nails done in a salon (anj and anya know the answer to this)
( ) have a job but don't need the money OR
( ) stay at home with little financial sacrifice
( ) pay someone else to cook your meals
( ) pay someone else to watch your children or walk your dogs
( ) regularly pay someone else to drive you
( ) expect a gift after you fight with your partner (what partner?)

Are you:
( ) an only child
( ) married/partnered to a wealthy person
( ) baffled/surprised when you don't get your way
( ) been on a cruise
(x) traveled out of the country
(x) met a celebrity (i cannot hang out with my brother and not meet a celebrity)
( ) been to the Caribbean (I WISH!!!)
(x) been to Europe (YES!!!)
(x) been to Hawaii (stopovers count, right?)
( ) been to New York (nope, but planning on visiting my cousin there someday soon)
( ) eaten at the space needle in Seattle
( ) been to the Mall of America
(x) been on the Eiffel tower in Paris (actually at the foot of the eiffel)
( ) been on the Statue of Liberty in New York
( ) moved more than three times because you wanted to
(x) dined with local political figures
( ) been to both the Atlantic coast and the Pacific coast

Did you:
( ) go to another country for your honeymoon
( ) hire a professional photographer for your wedding or party
(x) take riding or swimming lessons as a child (swimming!!!)
(x) attend private school
( ) have a Sweet 16 birthday party thrown for you

24 out of 90... i'd say that's pretty down-to-earth. :)

random updates

2006-04-24T13:36:00.000+08:00

i finally got together with the kadiri gang last friday. albeit incomplete (no anya, jig, val, and frey), i had loads of fun. i've been feeling the crippling grip of work on my life and, frankly, i needed to chill. the night was filled with good food, yummy desserts, great friends, and new rants. it always amazes me how right things are when i'm with these people.

* * *

my week started out crappy-dull though. i was thisclose to losing it when i was handed the surprising assignment of making a business proposal (aside from the 7 other projects i'm handling). since this was for a very important account in the states, i felt it was my professional duty to remind them that i DO NOT KNOW HOW TO MAKE A FREAKING BUSINESS PROPOSAL. mind you, i've never written a single business proposal ever in my life. want a research paper done on global governance? i'm your girl. want a document translated from english to french and vice versa? alors, my french has improved several times over. want someone to read fr. david's enormous pile of readings? lemme grab my glasses. but business proposals are as foreign to me as... college calculus.

fortunately i'm a quick study, and enjoy learning new things (sometimes, to a very unhealthy masochistic level). thank you google and essca.

* * *

shobs is in bora.

the parental units are in bora as well.

which leaves society-boy powers and academic snob barbie all alone in the house.

i used this time of significant absence by furthering my state of mental relaxation (a.k.a. cleaning the house) last sunday. i must say that if this occured during 3 consecutive no-working days, i might have been able to revamp the dining room, spare bedroom and the kiddies room. suffice to say, i'm well-pleased with myself.

i can't wait to arrange my book collection properly.

* * *

i am itching to get my hands on:

1. maryjanice davidson's dead and loving it
2. lisa cach's have glass slippers will travel
3. dvds of:

some kind of wonderful
just one of the guys
the breakfast club
st. elmo's fire
fast times at ridgemont high
legend
the lost boys
the complete season of john woo's once a thief

4. flowy white top from zara

road rage

2006-04-21T09:00:00.000+08:00

why do moronic biker mice from hell persist in attaching loud-ass stereos on their pathetic-looking bikes?

a) they have no idea how lame their so-called music sounds like (and i mean blech...)
b) as a means to really wake up (i have an ingenious idea... it's called a cold shower- they should try it some time...)
c) to grab some unfortunate chick's attention (boy! with moves like that, it's simply a wonder why girls aren't beating down their doors to get to them... with loaded shotguns)

the rest of the populace isn't deaf. please do not contribute to the noise pollution, assholes.

complacency

2006-04-18T16:19:00.000+08:00

it rises
unbidden
from the darkest recesses of my soul

it twines its silken arms ‘round my being
lover-like
it clasps me to its enticing embrace

and i fall
drift down
the endless abyss

screams, desperate scrambling
unheard, unnoticed
desires
my nirvana
lost...

* * *

i'm feeling complacent and lost.

which means i need to light a fire under my ass.

given the size of this particular feeling of complacency, anything smaller than a full-fledged forest fire will have the effect of a light sunburn.

fuck a duck.

all messed up

2006-04-17T13:24:00.000+08:00

i'm so in love with this song, i could listen to it over and over again for the next x weeks...

all messed up
breaking point

i hope i never wake up
i dream about you all the time now
and i don't wanna face
another night without you here
someday, someway, somehow
we will be together again
you know i've always wanted
just to feel the touch of your love
you know i've always hated
knowing how far apart we are
someday, someway, somehow
we will be together again
i just want you to know

[chorus:]
baby i'm all messed up in you
you're far away
but you're here with me
baby i'm all messed up in you
you're all i need
my everything

every night i wake up
hoping that i'll find you here and
there's not a day that goes by
i don't think about your smile
someday, someway, somehow
we will be together again
i just want you to know

[chorus]

and i know that we will find a way
to be together someday
and i promise you that i won't leave
i'll be here forever

[chorus]

i want you i need you
i'm lost here without you
i'm all messed up in you
i hope i never wake up
i dream about you all the time now

apres france et les autres choses

2006-04-06T15:58:00.000+08:00

alright. after months of being mia, i've decided to come back to the land of the undead and... write something in my sadly neglected virtual space. not surprising since i'm not the most reliable correspondent, but those of you in the loop know that i've been dealing with employment issues, depression and domestic mayhem.

it has been 2 months and 18 days since i left france, and it has not been any easier on me. i miss the new friends i've made, the food, the places, the parties... everything. and before this turns into a major rant session, i'm cutting this train of thought right in its proverbial bud.

currently, i'm dealing with my newfound life as an employee. from the safety-blanket of my ivory tower, to the land of baguettes and vins, to the prototypical cubicle, i'm still confused as to the direction my life is taking. obviously, this sucks because i'm anal about my career trajectory. i feel my job matrix losing its grip, my job timeline losing its meaning and my job nirvana losing its appeal.

france has opened a whole new world for me. a world not inhabited by samuel huntington, the economist or great political thinkers, but by pmes, the bcg matrix and porter's five forces. this isn't necessarily bad, but neither does it make things easier for me. i thought i knew what i truly wanted (generally at least), but this just proves to me that what i wanted was derived from what i knew, what i was comfortable with.

i've reached a premature and uncomfortable conclusion that i have been manipulating my world as per my instructions, and as per what i deem is right. it is in human nature to do so, but now i'm starting to think that this time, it came with a higher price.

this post is obviously whacked, so i better stop this one before it becomes blog vomit. hopefully, this little exercise has been beneficial to my confused mind and i'll be better off after this.

***

in other news:

1. kudos to my sister for graduating from ica. i never doubted, bubu.
2. kudos to mr. madrona for passing the bar with nary a peek at the books. the fso exam should be a joy ride.;p
3. kudos to anj for surviving a week in hell, emerging fresh as a daisy and ready to party in thailand.
4. belated kudos to kai kai for getting into the med school she wants.
5. belated kudos to anya for finally disengaging herself from mizuno.
6. i miss nice!
7. i miss val!
8. cher, aimee, liszy- vous me manquez beaucoup!
9. ina- tu me manques beaucoup aussi!
10. i'm gonna be in davao during the weekend of april 8-10. ciao bellas!

avarice

2005-12-14T05:17:00.000+08:00

dear god,

please forgive my greedy little heart... it knows not what it does (or maybe knows what it does but cares not).

amen

pontorson

2005-12-03T05:58:00.000+08:00

i remember the first time i saw the picture of mont st. michel. it was in a childcraft book and i was immediately hooked. i thought that it was the most beautiful place i have ever seen in my life and i vowed to myself that one day... i would be able to climb its cobblestoned streets, gallop along the wide stretch of shore that surrounded it (on a black horse) and admire its majesty from within and outside its walls. i was ten.

now, my wish has been fulfilled, and i was able to visit this wonderful site... sans black horse- but it was wonderful nonetheless.

thank you very much to geraldine (liszy's sponsor and our amazonian friend) for inviting us to spend an unforgettable weekend in pontorson, normandie. thank you also to her uber-nice family- maman, papa, caroline, charles, et maya- for welcoming us into their home, regardless of the language and cultural differences. and thank you to her great friends- guigui, parrain, eric, claire, and pierre-emmanuel- for welcoming us into their group and sharing a fabulous night of conversations, laughter, singing, dancing, et bien sur, drinking.

where: pontorson, mont st. michel et st. malo
when: 18-20 november 2005

mont st. michel illuminated

la mere poulard: most popular and most expensive restaurant in mont st. michel

mont st michel during the daytime

the walled city of st. malo (intramuros)

pretty geraldine and her breathtaking (literally) ice cream at timothy's

parrain, moi, eric, geraldine, liszy, et claire... a la tienne!

an amorous moment between parrain and guigui

hot liszy vs morose parrain @ la boite

caroline, maman avec maya, geraldine, et liszy during lunchtime
fabulous food prepared by maman! myum myum!

i'm the queen of the worl- err... tractor!

liszy, papa et moi avec le big-ass tracteur

liszy et moi avec le poney de geraldine

maya et moi: sharing a special moment

the retard, the burias and the rocker (charles)

liszy et moi: goofing around one last time in front of mont st. michel

feeling goddess on geraldine's bed

fooling around with geraldine's condom hat (her brothers have a wicked sense of humor ;p)

my adopted family: charles, maya, geraldine, et maman

cher's birthday a.k.a operation surprise cher

2005-11-23T19:43:00.000+08:00

dalawang malanding babae

cher: i've got mail!!! oh, it's from you three...

lunch at la boucherie... moooo

5 satisfied girls

imaginary conversation when cher thought i was ditching her
cher (thought bubble): i can't believe this bitch is ditching me during my birthday to sleep!!! and after i paid for that expensive meal too!
barbie (thought bubble): so i have to chill the coteaux, fry the chicken, zap the pizza, make the mashed potatoes... shit!!! the bus is there!

operation: surprise cher

dinner menu:
appetizer: cherry tomatoes, tortilla chips, guacamole
main course: mashed potatoes, fried chicken, gravy (pepper and mushroom), margherita pizza
dessert: profiteroles
beverages: coteaux du layon, rose wine, petillant de listel (peche), coke

surprised girl

the party (l-r): aimee, liszy, jenna, charlotte, helen (hidden), cher, et moi

dessert: chocolate!!!

marseille

2005-11-23T19:33:00.000+08:00

where: marseille
when: 28 - 29 october 2005

veille marseille

cool mural

with the ateneo jtas

finally splurged on dinner (a girl can only take so much mackarel and bread)

chateau d'if (count of monte cristo, baby!!!)

jailbait

the hole that dantes dug

ile d'if

on the way back to marseille

cannes

2005-11-23T19:27:00.000+08:00

where: cannes
when: 27 - 28 october 2005

no film fest, but big marketing conference (eeek!!!:D)

cannes

snuck into carlton hotel's private beach

ice cream...

main thoroughfare, carlton hotel at the back

grasse

2005-11-23T19:22:00.000+08:00

where: grasse
when: 27 october 2005

the city of perfumes

parfumerie molinard (perfume heaven)

post-shopping spree

this describes grasse

monaco

2005-11-23T19:15:00.000+08:00

where: monaco
when: 26 october 2005

on the way to monaco... absolutely gorgeous seaside

lifestyles of the rich and the famous...

grace kelly

my yacht

THE casino

in the mall

nice

2005-11-23T19:04:00.000+08:00

where: nice
when: 25 - 27 october 2005

la gare (nice)

palais de justice

very roxas boulevard

night picnic on the beach (jackpot!!! kfc!!!)

discovered during one of our nightly romps about town

liszy, patrick et moi: backpackers chez patrick is the absolute best!!!

mode of transport in the cote d'azur

stowaway in first class

lyon

2005-11-23T18:50:00.000+08:00

where: lyon
when: 24 - 25 october 2005

roman ruins

auberge de jeunesse (youth hostel)

fabulous sunrise

cathedrale st. jean

saone river

notre dame du montagne

rhone river

backpacking (err... trolleying) through France

2005-10-23T18:06:00.000+08:00

because of the dearth of classes next week, lissy and barbie finally decided to plunge headfirst into a vat of (hopefully) successful adventure- if not, eager blogtators for barbie's misadventures will surely get a rich serving when she gets back.

itinerary for next week:

oct. 24: angers --> lyon
oct. 25: lyon --> nice
oct. 26: nice --> monaco --> nice
oct. 27: nice --> antibes --> cannes
oct. 28: cannes --> marseille
oct. 29: marseille --> angers

incidentally, you wouldn't wanna know the tab i'm running up because of this trip... *cringe*

the dishwashing wars

2005-10-20T05:05:00.000+08:00

residence universitaire lakanal, 4th floor kitchen
19 october 2005, around 18h00

lissy: may gumamit ng joy ko!
barbie: yeah, the curly-haired dude used my joy and foam also
lissy: bastusan na yan hah!
barbie: that's ok, i use their dishwashing liquid to wash our dish towel
lissy: talaga?
barbie: oo, kaya mabango nga yun pamunas natin e. all's fair in war and dishwashing...

memorable conversation of the day

2005-10-18T08:31:00.000+08:00

residence universitaire lakanal, 4th floor kitchen
17 october 2005, around 17h30:

aimee: i don't have anything to wear!
cher: barbie's wearing her black sheath
barbie: my what?
cher: your black sheath- the one that makes you look like a greek goddess.
barbie: i think you mean geek goddess.

essca's cheese and wine party on board the united cultures' fly boat

all aboard

degustation des vins

white wine

friends: sarah and angela

simone

top board: irina, cher, lissy, miriam, julia

vin, salade et fromage

almost drunk ;p

docked

proof of lunacy (mine): essca party

2005-10-16T01:29:00.000+08:00

essca party: 06 october 2005

getting ready for a night of debauchery (heh): yep, that's a nasty glass of beer i'm holding (heineken sucks big time :(, sorry cher ;p)

what everyone is waiting for: for barbie to attend wild, inuman parties.
trust me, it doesn't get any wilder than this...

table dancing: it would have been nice if they were hot, but i digress...

girls sitting on guys' shoulders while not in the swimming pool

crazy dance moves and couples trying to set the record for longest smooching on the dance floor

flirting, flirting, flirting

well-choreographed dance numbers (heh)

and people just having fun

i hesitate to ask how those got up there

chilling at the back of essca

la mondialisation de la paix, une utopie?

2005-10-15T04:28:00.000+08:00

for a french class, we were required to attend a conference about the globalization of peace. it was a very interesting round table event as one of the guest speakers was m. christian chesnot, a former hostage in iraq, as well as a renowned journalist. the other guest was m. pierre servent, a former journalist for le monde and currently a media adviser for defense issues.

although the conference was entirely in french, i could understand most of what was discussed; and i must say that it is very distressing to note that the issues brought up for a topic such as this lacked the depth and analysis which i expected from people of this caliber. questions asked and answered were sadly superficial and lacked the analytical perspective which, i feel, is a must in this sensitive topic.

being the politically-inclined nerd that i am, i was very much looking forward to this conference because my brain can only take so much wild parties, weird come-ons and business jargons.

what a letdown.

welcome to l'universite catholique de l'ouest

in front of the university

backdrop of the event

audience from a wide range of fields, specializations, and schools

m. servent, mc, m. chesnot, director (maybe... think of him as madame, without the interjections)

barbie's top 10 cravings while in france... so far

2005-10-15T01:09:00.000+08:00

10. Sauce poivre et bearnaise
9. Cailler's Cacao extreme (whoever invented dark, bittersweet chocolate is a fucking genius! thanks to aims and cher!)
8. Taillefine's strawberry yogurt (thanks buttercup, for introducing the finer points of yogurt to me)
7. Faro beer (yes, I can't believe it myself)
6. Pain au chocolat @ La Mie Caline
5. Cafe vanille @ the school vendo
4. Kinder Bueno (i'm on my second pack... someone stop me!)
3. Pain au lait with Nutella (religious experience)
2. Strawberries with Nutella (interrupt at your own risk)
1. La Toffee: crepe avec caramel beurre sel, glace vanille et chantilly (this has got to be the fucking most delicious crepe i've ever tasted in my life!)

la rochelle

2005-10-14T11:53:00.000+08:00

la gare est tres magnifique!

welcome to la rochelle!

fantastic view of the harbor with the watchtower at the background

feeler pwet models

again, i love the streets!!!

that's an anchor we're sitting on

while lost...

... we found time to pose

... and pose

... and pose some more

blurry photo of the harbor and towers at night

first thought: shit! cute!; second thought: shit! i want roasted goose...

i know it's politically incorrect but i couldn't help it...

feeler pwet!

interesting wall of sculptures

fantastic sky...

trudging through the ugliest damned beach i ever saw...

anak ng tokwa't kalabasa't baboy!

taking a breather...

the things i see on the streets...

it's a bloody good thing il n'est pas ici... je pense

2005-10-13T06:15:00.000+08:00

How You Are In Love

You take a while to fall in love with someone. Trust takes time.
You tend to take more than give in relationships.
You need your space and privacy. You don't like to be smothered.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You stay in love for a long time, even if you aren't loved back. When you fall, you fall hard.

How Are You In Love?

la transformation

2005-09-29T21:56:00.000+08:00

my brain cannot assimilate the fact that i went to a party last monday night... when i had a full schedule on tuesday (read: economie, monetaire et financiere internationale, and strategic accounting), and that i had the gall to repeat the process last night (wednesday).

what in god's name is happening to me?

Normandy pix

2005-09-29T21:28:00.000+08:00

dinner time!
united cultures: our welcome team
trenches in normandy!
omaha beach!!! (uncle fester, are you getting this?)
la cambe: german military cemetery

international students in deauville
flags at half-mast: american cemetery in normandy
american military cemetery

d-day landing site

a day in the life of an asian girl in france

2005-09-13T22:06:00.001+08:00

07h30: alarm clock rings
07h30: irritably shuts off alarm clock
07h45: 2nd alarm clock rings
07h45: irritably shuts off 2nd alarm clock
08h00: reluctantly rise from the bed
08h05: shower
08h20: finish shower
08h25: make breakfast: oatmeal, milk and cerelac
08h40: get dressed and stuff
08h45: wash mug
09h00: check sched for the day
09h15: go out with aims, cher and lissy
13h30: lunch wherever... in a preferably cheap place
16h30: internet in school
19h00: start cooking whatever's in the ref, cupboard
20h00: finish cooking
20h00: start eating
21h00: clean up
21h30: go down to the game room, play billiards and practice french with dorm mates
22h30: reluctantly stop playing billiards and go up to room
23h00: decide whether to watch movie or practice french
23h00: decide to watch movie
01h00: sleep

i lead a very exciting life, can't you tell?

seriously, this would change once essca finalizes my class schedules. as for the moment, i fill my days with grocery shopping (we finally found the market... green leafy vegetables here we come), cooking, cleaning, internet, books (thank you, lakanal, for having english literature!), billiards, and dubious socializing.

i'm looking forward to our trip to normandy. beaches, ww2, d-day!!! uncle fester would love this, i bet!

have wifi, will post pictures (part un)

2005-09-09T22:59:00.000+08:00

paris... from a taxi's pov

place de lorraine
place de st. croix

angers city center : place de ralliement

my home away from home for the next 4 months

have wifi, will post pictures (part deux)

2005-09-09T22:46:00.000+08:00

have wifi, will post pictures (part trois)

2005-09-09T22:31:00.000+08:00

my room!!!

glorious view of the cathedrale de st. maurice
3 asian girls in france... the 4th is still a boy bakal

chateau d'angers

i love the streets
cathedrale de st. maurice from a distance

accroche coeur: entertainment for the french

2nd misadventure in france

my 2nd misadventure in france*

2005-09-09T19:32:00.000+08:00

my first week in angers has been relatively uneventful. we've been going around, trying out the local cuisine, exploring their supermarkets, and appreciating all types of wonderful architecture from the churches to the quaint little houses. we've made friends, from our french dorm mates, to the other chinese students who are also studying in essca, and to our fellow exchange students- be they austrian, russian, hungarian, german, et al.

the first day of our orientation was tiring. they all spoke in french, but i'm proud to say that i didn't need a dictionary to understand the gist of what they're saying. we also had to pick our classes. i'll post my class list as soon as i finalize it with my essca tutor; but i did choose classes tackling pretty interesting stuff like international trade, and management and change. i can say that, as usual, i'm overloading once again. the average number of ECTS that they want us to take is 30, but mine is around 35. i had to trim it down from the original 57 that i was determined to take. heh.

the misadventure started after the orientation. there's a french celebration going on right now called the accroche coeur. it's a lively street party full of various activities in the different areas of the city. (i'll post pictures as soon as i get wifi, promise!) anyway, we started off by meeting up with people in the place de ralliement and then we watched a slapstick comedy show. after the hilarious antics of the 2 guys, we watched this french dude perform with a chinese yoyo. then, the group wanted to go get a drink in the pub, before we go to another pub (where they'll chug more drinks... these people can drink!). cher was all for it but her new boots were killing her so we decided to go home. unfortunately, we didn't realize that the celebration fucked up the city's bus system. we waited for a couple of hours for a bus that would never pass by that stop that night! some kind/freaky soul tried to help us, but we ended up in the wrong stop as well. (ugh, even the angevins don't know what the fuck's up with the buses.) finally cher's friend was able to meet up with us and we ended up going to dublin's (the pub) because they really wanted to go there. ugh, and by pub, i do mean the heavy inuman and loud music type of irish pub. definitely not my element. i ended up sitting on the sidewalk with lizzy, contemplating the merits of rolling down the road to avoid the smoke, loud dance music and what-have-yous that are pretty common here. we ended up finding a bus in the place de ralliement.

*i consider the life-threatening ordeals of the journey from manila to angers the first extended misadventure.

an asian girl in france (part2)

2005-09-06T23:57:00.000+08:00

bonjour!!!

i hope everyone's doing ok... because i'm having a blast here...:D

i'm starting to feel how it is to be truly away from home and semi-independent. semi because i'm still getting the monthly stipends and parental scholarship.

the weather is crazy in angers. i expected cooler weather, but no!!! it's as hot as manila, if not hotter on certain hours of the day! mon dieu! thank god i brought a lot of spag straps and t-shirts because i certainly won't survive in a bulky wool pullover... it's starting to get cooler though- on certain days, i need to wear jackets. :)

the first month is uber expensive (actually, it's more like the first days) because i had to pay for rent, insurance, deposits, bus cards, carte de reduction, and other stuff. we also do a lot of grocery runs here because we need to stock up on water, food, vegetables, and other essentials. it's not the same as our grocery runs, anj, but it's also fun and frustrating in its own way. living in the province and outside the city center has its perks in the sense that it's way cheaper, and people are more willing to help you figure things out.

cher, aimee and i managed to do a lot of exploring in the 6 days that we're here. we now know how to use the bus system to our advantage- although cher is still bemoaning the fact that the night buses stop functioning at around 12 mn. we've gone to angers city center many times to shop, eat and just explore. we have a favorite bakery already near the cathedrale de saint maurice which serves fantastic meals for only EUR 2,70. we also befriended a chinese woman who has her own restaurant near the aforementioned bakery. we met her last sunday because EVERYTHING was closed, except for that chinese restaurant. she actually thought we were americans or singaporeans because we were speaking in english. :D her french was practically flawless...

oh, speaking of the cathedrale de saint maurice, i heard my first mass in france there last sunday. needless to say, it was in french. needless to say also, god did not strike me dead for daring to enter his house after a long hiatus (if he did, it would definitely be a shame because it was such a pretty cathedral). the architecture was incredible and the details were fantastic. i could actually understand what the priest was saying. the entire celebration was very grand actually... most of the people were really wearing their sunday best, and most of the women were wearing skirts or dresses.

i opened a bank account with credit lyonnais today. it went ok, i guess. they even gave us a usb flash drive as a sort-of thank you gift for choosing credit over other banks such as societe generale, bnp et al. hehe, so good thing i didn't get the usb drive i was telling you about, zo.

if you guys wanna send me snail mail, my address is:
Residence Universitaire LAKANAL
25, rue LAMARCK, chambre 430
49045, ANGERS CEDEX
FRANCE

i also got a french number for text messages and calls:
+33676889652

oh, and the number that's on international roaming is:
+639178002388

that's it so far, i'll be posting pictures soon... keep in touch!

je suis en france... finalement

2005-09-02T23:33:00.000+08:00

hello everyone!

as promised, i am now updating my blog, so that you'll know i'm alive and well after my, admittedly, hectic start. first, some realizations that i have about france, myself and other stuff:

1. i can actually type without looking at the keyboard before, because right now, i do not know how the fuck to type on a european keyboard!!! i am reverting back to my two-fingered typing regimen and looking at the stupid keyboard so as not to misspell the word! (kadiri peeps, i KNOW you are laughing your asses off right now...)

2. all those french classes paid off... i was the sort of spokesperson of the group... mon dieu! and people can actually understand my atrocious accent! yipee! but it is still a long way from actually understanding everything they say at the speed they say it...

3. parisien/ne/s are not the evil dog-eating people we were led to believe. a LOT of people helped us on the way to angers! merci beaucoup et grace à dieu à ils!

4. photocopying is free in essca... i think ( we all know what that means >:) ) printing is also free... >:D

5. my dorm room is small, fully functional and extremely spartan... i love it! i have my own bathroom, my own refrigerator, there's gonna be internet in october (i'm using the school's comp), the room is near the kitchen (again, we all know what that means), and the room is on the fourth floor- with no elevator to speak of... (if i'm not damned skinny by the time january rolls around, it means i've been scarfing down way too many croissants (they are way fantastic, btw))

6. the tgv is everything we talked about and more...

7. french people are nice :) so far... quite a number of them greeted us and helped us with our, count them, 7 luggages (i'm not kidding! it was a minor miracle that we were able to go from manila to angers with all the things we were carrying), not including handbags and laptops... girls do pack more, i realize that now... (sorry for all the times i mocked you, anya :)) but then again, i AM the girl with the big bag always.

8. i'm not yet homesick... this is because i'm just so tired from the trip and from all the bruises i have because of my damned luggages... and i didn't even bring any novels!!!!

9. i finally saw la tour eiffel (from a distance. no, it did not bring tears to my eyes, sorry anj; but it did make me forget all the stress, stratospheric expenses and crappiness that occured before, and it made me remember why i chose european studies in the first place). i also saw an honest-to-goodness chateau!!! it was très belle!!!

and,

10. i am currently at the grubbiest point in my life... i need a shower (DESPERATELY) after i buy gallons of water from the supermarket. incidentally, water here is not so expensive... you just have to know which brand to buy... grace à dieu encore!

i'm too tired now to elaborate but essca is quite a nice place to study. it's in the middle of nowhere, as cher has charmingly put it, but it's fine by me because it is so conducive for studying. angers is such a picturesque town. it looks like a place right out of a globe trekker account. but i just recently learned that a lot of pedophilia goes around... :( transnational crimes and ambassador manalo suddenly popped into my head.

finally, i have places to envision when i'm thinking about les gares in our french conversations. the train system is simply amazing, and the people there were sooo efficient!

we are now looking at the series of activities that the ESSCA welcome team has prepared for us, and it is full of trips, parties and other stuff... i'm starting to wonder how this will affect my studies, but what the hell, as they say- when in rome (in angers, in this case)... don't be surprised if i come back a different person... hahaha! (like that will happen). i'm looking forward to the trip to normandy... i'm not looking forward to how much it'll cost, though...

fyi, school commences on the 13th so i still have some time on my hands to talk, email, post, and whatnot. our orsem (hehe) is on the 7th until 9th.

i just got word from aims that i might be able to use my ym via e-messenger... checking this one out for sure...:D

i'll update soon... i hope! miss everyone!!!

Leaving On A Jet Plane

2005-08-30T11:32:00.000+08:00

Leaving on A Jet Plane
Chantal Kreviazuk

I... I...

All my bags are packed
I'm ready to go
I'm standing here outside your door
I hate to wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin'
This early mornin'
The taxi's waitin'
He's blowin' his horn
Already I'm so lonesome I could cry

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go

I...
There's so many times I've let you down
So many times I've played around
I tell you now
They don't mean a thing

Every place I go, I think of you
Every song I sing, I sing for you
When I come back
I'll wear your wedding ring

So kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go

Now the time has come to leave you
One more time
Let me kiss you
Close your eyes
I'll be on my way

Dream about the days to come
When I won't have to leave alone
About the time when I don't have to say...

Oh, kiss me and smile for me
Tell me that you'll wait for me
Hold me like you'll never let me go

Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go

I'm leaving on a jet plane
Don't know when I'll be back again
Oh babe I hate to go

I'm leaving on a jet plane
leaving on a jet plane
leaving on a jet plane
leaving on a jet plane
I... leaving on a jet plane
I... leaving on a jet plane
I... leaving on a jet plane
I... leaving on a jet plane

One more day...

a different bookstore launches a different book club

2005-08-11T19:19:00.000+08:00

a different bookstore

cordially invites you to the launching of

a different book club

on the 13th of august 2005, 4pm onwards

at the eastwood branch.

this will be accompanied by the review of the highly acclaimed novel...

the kite runner

by: khaled hosseini

refreshments will be served.

we hope to see you there!

long overdue weekend report # 5

2005-08-11T18:47:00.000+08:00

ick...
1. rain storms
2. no schengen visa... (wonder if they'll catch me if i go tnt?)
3. weird printers or stickers... maybe both
4. strawberry snowcone- eew...
5. fliers- 'nuf said
6. wiring money to a different country- shiiyet!
7. mrt
8. laptop hunting
9. compaq presarios
10. male pms
11. kaput printer still
12. no breathing time :(
13. the velvet steamroller

yay!
1. anj and kai kai for helping me with ingress- i love you both!!!
2. my first storytelling event- success!!!
3. teacher jeng!
4. my first paycheck
5. fazoli's italian chicken- yum!
6. annapolis seafood restaurant
7. anya's back!
8. grocery shopping
9. shampoos in sachets
10. car's scrumptious potato cheese chowder- i love you!!!
11. orange snowcone with just a bit of strawberry mixed into it
12. fazoli's garlic bread, dipped in caesar salad dressing (at least i think it was caesar), dipped in parmesan- heaven!!!
13. toshiba?

obviously, since all these happened last week (and i'm only writing them now) i'm bound to forget one or two things...

20/21 days to go...

laptops et al (part trois)

2005-08-08T19:21:00.000+08:00

i'm really getting tired of this... went back to the pc shop today, only to be stumped by one more option, which i inadvertently chose. peej knows all the nasty details of my 5th (yeah... i'm a masochist) visit to gilmore... thanks for accompanying me anyway, dude.

sorry kai, it wasn't a toshiba, but i did get a 21-day trial offer on this one. if i'm not satisfied with this laptop, i'm free to trade this in for the toshiba.

what's the word on hp compaqs? is it better (read: more reliable or more durable) than compaqs?

HP Compaq NX 6000 (PHP 69,000)
- Intel® Centrino™ Mobile Technology
- Intel® Pentium® M Processor 730 (1.6GHz, 533MHz) / 2Mb L2 cache
- Mobile Intel® 915GM Express Chipset
- 15.0 inch XGA (1024 x 768) Display
- 512Mb DDR SDRAM
- 40Gb Hard Drive
- DVD+CDRW Combo Drive
- Intel® GMA 900 with up to 128Mb shared video memory
- Intel® 2915ABG- 54 mbps (is there a diff between this and WiFi 802.11bg Wireless LAN?)
- 6-in-1 Media Reader
- 56Kb modem
- Gigabit Ethernet (10/100/1000) - Triple LAN
- firewire
- bluetooth
- serial/ir parallel ports
- 4 usb ports + tv-out and lcd ports (whatever they're called)
- Touchpad with scroll bar at the side (this was so cool! haha! i'm such a dino...)
- 6-cell Li-Ion Battery
- Microsoft® Windows® XP Home
- 1 year international warranty + 1 year parts and labor warranty
- optical mouse
- webcam
- carrying bag

advanced merci beaucoup to my technologically adept pals who can comment on this...

laptops et al (part deux)

2005-08-07T22:20:00.000+08:00

alright... let's try this again. this time with branded laptops. please tell me which one's the better deal.

1. compaq presario v2318 (PHP 78,888)
- intel centrino mobile technology
- intel pentium m 740 (1.73GHz/ 2 mb/ 533mhz)
- intel 915gm chipset
- 512 mb ddr sdram
- intel high def. audio
- 14 in wxga tft
- intel gma900 (64mb-128mb)
- 6-in-1 card reader
- dvd+cdrw combo drive
- 40 gb hdd
- 56kb modem
- mouse device (touch pad)
- battery- ext. life
- harman kardon/ 10-100-1000 triple lan
- wi-fi- 802.11bg wireless lan
- software- ms windows xp home
- 3 usb ports
- firewire
- tv out
- lcd port
- optical mouse
- webcam
- carrying case

2. toshiba satellite a80-p430 (PHP 68,888)
- intel centrino mobile technology- sonoma 533MHz
- intel pentium m 730- 1.6 GHz/ 2mb/ 533 MHz
- intel 915gm chipset- shared video
- 256 mb ddr sdram (with option to upgrade to 512mb for PHP3,900- not included yet)
- intel high def. audio- Built-in internal harman/kardon® stereo speakers, built-in microphone (monaural)
-15.0-inch XGA TFT (Clear SuperView Technology)
- intel gma900 (64mb-128mb)
- 6-in-1 card reader
- dvd+cdrw combo drive
- 40gb harddrive
- 56kb modem
- mouse device (touch pad)
- battery (ext. life)
- harman kardon / 10-100-1000 triple lan
- wifi-802.11bg wireless lan
- software- ms windows xp home
- usb ports (not sure if 3 or 4)
- firewire
- tv out
- lcd port
- optical mouse
- carrying case
- Weight 2.8kg.

*note: i haven't badgered the store about the toshiba, but hopefully, i can still get a discount on the price stated and/or maybe some freebies. oh, and should i upgrade the ram to 512mb?

** please also bear in mind that i will be traveling and need a laptop that's barbie-proof ;p something durable, user-friendly and reliable please!

advanced muchos gracias to my technologically competent friends...:D

laptop hunting et al

2005-08-04T18:38:00.000+08:00

today was a pretty productive day...

1. i went to gilmore and spent 2 hours laptop hunting... i've narrowed them down to 3 choices. unfortunately, not one of them passed the PHP 50,000 budget i've set... sorry dad. but they were all within the range of 50T-60T. now, to make the hard decision... crap!

for my technologically literate friends, which one should i get?
a. apex au 1445 prestigio thingy (PHP 59,000)
- intel centrino, pentium m 735 (1.7ghz/ 2mb/ 400 mhz)
- intel 855 gm chipset (WTF?)
- 512 mb ddr sdram
- 14.1" xga tft lcd
- 40 gb harddrive
- built-in audio
- dvd+cdrw combo drive
- 56 kb modem
- slim profile + powercinema
- battery- li-ion
- 10-100mbps lan
- wifi- 802.11 bg wireless lan
- windows xp home
- optical mouse
- carrying case
- 4 usb ports (as far as i can remember)

b. apex/aopen m1551ag (PHP 63,888)
- Intel® Centrino™ Mobile Technology
- Intel® Pentium® M Processor 725 (1.6GHz / 2Mb / Dothan)
- Intel® Pro/Wireless 2200 (802.11bg) wireless networking
- 256Mb DDR333 / PC2700 SO-DIMM Memory
- 12.1in. WXGA TFT Active Matrix Display
- 40Gb Hard Disk Drive
- Intel® Extreme Graphics 2
- USB 2.0 ports available
- Built-in speakers and 16-bit Sound Card
- 10/100Mbps LAN Controller
- 56Kbps V.90 Fax Modem
- DVD recorder / DVD Dual Dual Format/ 2x layer
- Li-Ion battery pack
- Notebook Case
- Optical Mini Mouse
- windows xp home

c. neo q-note m122 (PHP 57,999)
- Centrino Mobile Technology Intel Pentium M Processor 1.60GHz
- Intel 855GM chipset
- 256MB DDRAM Memory
- Intel PRO/Wireless 2200 LAN
- 40GB HDD
- 10/100LAN
- 56K Modem
- 12.1 inch TFT W XGA Display
- Combo DVD+CDRW Drive
- Built-in WebCam
- windows xp home
- 1.95kg
- infrared
- 2 usb
- 8 cell battery
- carrying case and mouse
- 256 mb upgrade to 512 mb (PHP 2,900)- not included yet

2. learned how to commute to eastwood from cubao- thanks shai!!!

3. meeting with cat and jeng for event on saturday

4. passed by a different bookstore araneta to check things out

5. called interested participants for saturday

6. oh, and my visa's ready!!! miracle much?

LSS

2005-08-02T16:23:00.000+08:00

a truly beautiful song... nice knows how much this song means to me...

everything
lifehouse

find me here, speak to me
i want to feel you, i need to hear you
you are the light that’s leading me
to the place where i find peace, again

you are the strength that keeps me walking
you are the hope that keeps me trusting
you are the life to my soul
you are my purpose, you are everything

and how can i stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me how can it be
any better than this
yeah

you calm the storms and you give me rest
you hold me in your hands, you won’t let me fall
you still my heart and you take my breath away
would you take me in, would you take me deeper now

and how can i stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me how could it be
any better than this
(repeat)

‘cause you’re all i want
you’re all i need
you’re everything, everything (4x)

and how can i stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me how could it be
any better than this (3x)

would you tell me how could it be
any better than this…

weekend report # 4

2005-08-01T01:21:00.000+08:00

bleah...
1. overcharging doctors
2. expensive fees to go to france (do i really need all this shit on top of the shit i already have?)
3. no schengen visa included (WTF?! how can i go around europe then?!?)
4. stupid monday holiday (really... that was uncalled for)
5. loooooooooong line in the dfa
6. stupid faxes
7. missing quality chow time
8. missing quality snooze time
9. bloody storms (maybe it's the combination of anj and events- hmmm...)
10. unhealthy habits (i should really start working out again)
11. missed val and frey last friday night
12. val leaving on august 13 (i'll miss you soooo much)
13. a kaput printer (help me, o god of the technologically ignorant)

yeah...
1. finished all visa requirements (thank god...)
2. cream cheese danish and english breakfast (yum yum...)
3. tcb event turned out fantastic, regardless of all the rain (anj... hehehe)
4. pj's homemade pasta from scratch (peej, will you marry me?? hehehe! wait wag na, magalit pa si rica ;p)
5. genuinely nice people (thanks manong!)
6. seeing some baraternity peeps again after a loooooong time
7. lunch with dexter and krissy
8. powerbooks!!!
9. reinventing mona by jennifer coburn
10. stealth (it's a barbie movie and i can't believe i'm saying this but josh lucas is truly hot)
11. stealth soundtrack (incubus truly rocks)
12. afterdream (stuart and chris are fantastic performers)
13. everything by lifehouse (all-time favorite)
14. car's and p's flaretending performances (two thumbs up!)
15. that afternoon with stephie (fate! and basic black iced tea)
16. seeing uncle fester again

rocker

2005-07-30T16:46:00.000+08:00

Which Rock Chick Are You?

bru

2005-07-29T21:15:00.000+08:00

stephie is my oldest friend ever (i.e. we've known each other since we were 5 and scared shitless in kindergarten). we've had our share of hair-pulling, screechy shouting, fighting over who gets the chocolate sundae (and who gets the icky strawberry-flavored one), and big yellow raincoated embarrassing moments (sshhh...). we would fight over the most trivial and weirdest stuff ever... (who ended up with the chocolate sundae anyway?)

if i were to define my days in ica, stephie would figure into a lot of those experiences. while i am the maldita, matapang, socially-retarded nerd who doesn't give a fuck about what other people say about her, stephie is the nice, friendly girl-next-door type who's practically friends with everyone she meets. regardless of our differences, we love one another like sisters.

after graduating from ica, we didn't see each other anymore. hard to do when one studied in espana, and the other in katipunan. specially hard since one was the comelec chair, and the other was gunning for honors. but we did our best through phone calls, text messages, yms, emails, and friendster (heh). we updated each other on important milestones (e.g. boyfriend- needless to say, not mine ;p), problems and whatevers whenever we could find the time to talk.

i loved the fact that stephie managed to grow and become stronger in unfamiliar territory. she took on responsibilities, which would have felled lesser people. she strengthened her skills and discovered new talents. she became a part of a couple (which i still don't have the strength or the inclination for), and fought for (still fighting, actually) her happiness.

our fateful meeting today made me realize that she's still the stephie who cries at the drop of the hat. she's still the stephie who calls on me for support (and ass kicking). she's still the stephie who loves alternative music.

but something has changed- she's now the stephie with a stubborn streak, and a will of iron that most people would never realize lies under all that cotton-candy charm. sometime between ica graduation and today, stephie has truly matured into a capable woman who can do anything she puts her mind to.

i love you very very much, bru. don't let anything break you down. i promise you'll live through this. now go back to work and remember MWF!

for the love of bubu

2005-07-26T20:58:00.000+08:00

as anyone who knows me pretty well would know... i love my little sister to itty bitty little pieces.

i really don't understand why this is so... she's bossy, demanding, a slob (look who's talking- i know, i know- but she really elevates slobbishness into an art form), annoying, bratty, and everything the baby of the family is and could be (yes, all the stereotypes apply).

this usually gets me into trouble because i find myself reliving high school trigonometry, history, economics, english, physics (which i don't mind), et al.

anyway, this post is super lost because i just came home from a day in hell (i.e. alliance francaise, makati med, dfa). they all look so unassuming (lies! lies! lies!).

point is (is there one?)... i know my sister will get what she wants and what she needs.

cheers, bubu! study hard for the acet or i'll come back (when/if i leave ;p) and kick your ass 'til you do.

kambeng and snoopy's lss selection for acet, chad michael murray and james lafferty

i don't wanna be
gavin degraw

I don't need to be anything other than a prison guard's son
I don't need to be anything other than a specialist's son
I don't have to be anyone other than a birth of two souls in one
Part of where I'm going is knowing where I'm coming from

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

I'm surrounded by liars everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by imposters everywhere I turn
I'm surrounded by a deadly crisis everywhere I turn
Am I the only one to notice?
I can't be the only one who's learned

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think about me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I gotta do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me

Can I have everyone's attention please
See, not like this and that
You're gonna have to leave
I came from the mountain, the crust of creation
My whole situation made from clay, dust, stone
And now I'm telling everybody

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind
I'm tired of looking 'round rooms wondering what I'm trying to do
Or who I'm supposed to be
I don't want to be anything other than me
I don't want to be
I don't want to be
I don't want to be
I don't want to be

weekend report # 3

2005-07-23T12:26:00.000+08:00

it has been a hell of a week.

fantastique!
1. essca is a go!!! bonjour, angers! au revoir, philippines!
2. j'irai avec cher.
3. a different bookstore's production process is going well, and right on schedule.
4. ceram sophia antipolis reply. merci beaucoup, m. kane!
5. lyon reply. merci beaucoup, mme. claudel!
6. translation job! finally!
7. mom's and pj's birthdays
8. uno cheesecake
9. mean girls!
10. lancaster letter. if only your scholarships were bigger...
11. mme. nadege picquenard. merci beaucoup!
12. singapore airlines. more krisflyer miles!
13. car and paul
14. italian loaf!!! heaven in a loaf with cream cheese.

merde!
1. nso
2. malacanang
3. dfa
4. visa requirements
5. la pluie
6. perverts
7. les depenses des preuves d'authenticite, de la traduction et tout!
8. stupid things (i.e. boys, jobs, flu, tests) that make my girlfriends cry, sick or miss quality wow time.
9. pms and gushing like a faucet (moses has nothing on me)
10. missing everyone... eventhough i'm still here

the cat's out of the bag

2005-07-22T11:10:00.000+08:00

finally... after the self-imposed silence on the matter, i can talk about it now.

yes, i turned down the czech republic scholarship. my parents, actually my mom, put their foot down on that. no way was she sending me out (alone!) to the boondocks of a former communist country. right... she just won't listen when i tell her that it is not like mother russia. ahia and lord were far more supportive... of course, they had more to gain- in the form of hot eastern european chicks.

in lieu of that scholarship, i decided to apply for the scholarship/exchange student program in angers, france. trust me when i say that it was a whirlwind application. essca is a fantastic world-renowned grande ecole for business and management, and it is situated in angers of the beautiful loire valley region. i'm going with cher cher, a great pal since my ica days, and some other ateneans.

my visa application is going smoothly, after the mishaps in nso, malacanang and dfa (misadventure story for the kadiri gang). i'm gonna be claiming my triple-authenticated birth certificate from dfa on tuesday, and forwarding it together with my diploma to the alliance francaise for translation. i have a medical check-up with dr. paul tan, the french embassy's accredited medical consultant, on monday.

busy busy girl...

one question though: why do the job interviews and offers come when i'm already set in my plans to go to france?

weekend report #2

2005-07-18T02:10:00.000+08:00

busy busy week, no time to post my usual serving of bull...

clap clap clap:
1. good project proposal (pat on back)
2. spent a wet (but wonderful) day with kai kai. the food trips will never end. *burp!*
3. attended an edifying orientation par m. blamont. (merci beaucoup, madame)
4. full-speed application (hopefully...)
5. declined gracefully (hopefully...)
6. more academic inquiries (why do brits have such a high standard of living?)
7. finally spent time with car again! whoopdeedoo!
8. ahia's back with goodies
9. FANTASTIC FOUR!!!
10. barbecue popcorn from the promenade cinema (nica, you're a god!)
11. seeing baraternity members
12. french lessons coming up...
13. did 10 laps!!!
14. john steakley's vampire$- so much better than the movie, james woods cannot even begin to define jack crow's character

ugh moments...
1. rain rain, go away, go annoy some other dinky lil' country
2. flat wallet >:(
3. stupid visa requirements- actually, no, stupid government inefficiency
4. fully-booked flights
5. still no exercise... wait! i went swimming today!
6. the making of shob's ateneo essay
7. totally forgot about a job interview (i'm turning into such a craphead myself, where the hell's the discipline?)
8. blisters
10. olli's mom- may she rest in peace

weekend report

2005-07-09T11:34:00.000+08:00

i've decided to make a weekend report to take stock of the decisions i've made (and didn't make), the accomplishments i've done (pat on back), the mistakes i've inevitably committed (moron!), and whatever bloody asinine comments i feel like making in the course of the rundown.

good job:
1. decided to accept a consultancy job (this one's still iffy... i still feel like bumming)
2. on the other hand, since it's for a specialty bookstore and it's events/marketing... oh rapture!
3. managed to exert tremendous self-control when shopping for books... *sniff* sinclair is calling out to me, so're blair, selena and nate.
4. good ideas for the bc with matching pictures (which aren't so good) for collaterals
5. i think i managed to convince the eu freshies that eu is a stupendous course.
6. puccini's nessun dorma
7. war of the worlds
8. pancake house's mmc2- yum yum!
9. house of wax ost!!!
10. uploaded aaa pictures to InVent's repository of files

fuck ups:
1. sloth... just can't shake it off me
2. lack of a decision about palacky... i wonder if dr. slabakova wants to kick my ass now... *scratch head*
3. gluttony... bigger problem (if i commit 2 of the 7 deadly sins, does that mean an expressway to hell?)
4. fso exam... this isn't really my fuck up, more like the government's (we have suffered enough!!! release the stupid results already!!!)
5. no more exercise [this one's iffy, too, i definitely prefer reading and conceptualizing over sweating like a bloody animal (of the porcine family)]
6. dial-up internet connection
7. government corruption and all the fuck ups that go with it
8. not yet done cleaning up the study room (but it was off to a good start, i promise)

that's it for now...

LSS

2005-07-08T15:41:00.000+08:00

come on
letters to cleo

you can talk
you can talk about it yeah......
if i'm wrong
if I'm wrong i'll take your blame
you can talk
and as the hours slip away
as my own
i can call another day

come on, come on
to my embrace
how you sleep so easy is
a mystery

i've got my ear
pressed to the glass
pressed to the wall
i wasn't sure
but i think i got it all
and it was too late
for any lame apologies
by the way
it's your second face i didn't see
about what i heard
and i just can't believe it's true
all the things i didn't know about you
so won't you

come on, come on
a lie awaits
how you sleep so easy is
a mystery

won't you
come on, come on
to my embrace

so you can talk
and as the hours slip away
as my own
i can call another day
about what i heard
and i just can't believe it's true
all of things i shoulda known about you
so won't you

come on, come on
to my embrace
how you sleep so easy is
a mystery

won't you
come on, come on
to my embrace
how you sleep so easy

london

2005-07-08T10:51:00.000+08:00

and so another tragedy strikes.

after the devastations in new york and madrid, you'd think the powerful western world would realize the havoc they could wreak with a simple decision to wage war on "rogue" states. every action has an equal and opposite reaction. although the number of victims in the us and europe cannot compare to the number of victims in afghanistan and iraq, the sense of security and freedom in the free world has been severely diminished- particularly for the relatives of those who died.

i pray for the victims and their families- be they in the cosmopolitan west or the war-ravaged states. for the many civilians who face the stark reality of the world today, may your deaths and sacrifices be not in vain. may those in power realize that war should never be an option.

lotsa things

2005-07-06T09:40:00.000+08:00

1. aaa testimonial dinner- our very first event as InVent was a success. good job everyone!

2. today is my pseudo start-of-work day. goodbye to bumhood, hello to moolah?

3. today i will talk to a bunch of eu freshies about misconceptions, the eu program, and the eu student.

4. i want maryjanice davidson's undead and unappreciated and hello, gorgeous! i've been suffering from sinclair (finklair!) deprivation since the last undead book.

5. i want an ipod... or the new sony walkman that's not yet available in the philippines.

6. please do not rain today. i have a lot of places to go to and too little time to do so.

7. i can actually imagine anya decked out in designer golf threads and set to conquer an 18-hole golf course. don't worry dude, you may not be earning as much as the old fogeys there but i'm sure as hell you'll be the most fashionable golfer- hands down.

8. anj: like jess, the boss can be brought to heel if you know his/her weak spots. hehehe...

9. oh, i'm suffering from kai-kai and nice deprivation too!! kai: school sucks! nice: work sucks more!

and last but definitely not the least...

10. fantastic four opens today!!! chris evans rocks!

parce que je suis sophistique

2005-07-04T01:12:00.000+08:00

Wine

?? Which Alcoholic Drink Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

evil beware...

2005-07-04T00:39:00.000+08:00

You are a Samurai.
You are full of honour and value respect. You
are not really the stereotypical hero, but you
do fight for good. Just in your own way. For
you, it is most certainly okay to kill an evil
person, if it is for justice and peace. You
also don't believe in mourning all the time and
think that once you've hit a bad stage in life
you just have to get up again. It's pointless
to concentrate on emotional pain and better to
just get on with everything. You also are a
down to earth type of person and think before
you act. Impulsive people may annoy you
somewhat.

Main weapon: Sword
Quote: "Always do the right thing.
This will gratify some people and astonish the
rest" -Mark Twain
Facial expression: Small smile

What Type of Killer Are You? [cool pictures]

brought to you by Quizilla

undead and unemployed

2005-07-01T12:53:00.000+08:00

everyone's working except me...

this wait and see situation sucks... i want to go to the czech republic but something is holding me back. is it my parents? or me? if it's my parents, i can totally understand that. they don't want me to go to a strange, communist country all by my lonesome. (i tried to tell them that the czech republic is now a member of the eu and should be democratic and politically (and economically) stable to be able to become a member in the first place, but did they listen?) of course my wonderful brother already suggested another option. he'll go with me (at the expense of the parentals, of course), help me settle in, and go gallivanting off with hot eastern european women (and they are many). i do think he's planning on doing the exact same thing when the time comes for me to go to spain. ole!

but what if it's me? what if i don't want to go? what if i think that it's not something that will fit into my career in the long-run? the thought really does scare me. here i am thinking what a wonderful junket it's gonna be, but afraid to venture out there because i might be wasting my time?! what the fuck's that?!

(alter ego: pussy!)

what about my grand adventure? what about the chance to finally prove to myself that i can be an independent woman alone in a world that does not speak a hell of a lot of english? without my family to support me; without my friends for coffee/tea, comfort and late-night laet fests?

i desperately need a sign to know where i'm going. too much thinking on my part makes me more confused than ever (plus, my head's starting to hurt).

so where do i start looking?

bloody hell...

musings

2005-06-28T15:57:00.000+08:00

1. finally! i got the acceptance letter from palacky university. looks like the parental units are starting to give in. hmm... this might signal a whole new chapter to my existence. i wonder if i should start buying winter clothes. i definitely want a black leather jacket a la katherine heigl in roswell.
the european education system is unfamiliar territory. i'm debating with myself whether to go for the 60 ECTS points without the MA but with full-year scholarship, or go with the MA degree but with no scholarship (yet! i hope...) for the second semester. uppsala university (sweden) and universidad de deusto (spain) looks really great. should i, shouldn't i? all i can say is- it's gonna be a hell of a junket if i do...

2. i was disappointed by the sale in mango...:( as all fashionistas know, mango on sale is a time when a temporary (thank god!), yet severe and unshakeable, sickness overcomes women of all ages and they go rampaging into all the mango outlets they know. fathers, husbands, brothers, and boyfriends turn into financiers, pack mules and/or someone to stay in liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine while you go snatch up that fabulously flimsy green top which a hideously-garbed competitor is eyeing (can't she see that it's all wrong for her color?). unfortunately, this year's pickings leave much to be desired. i can't even summon up enough enthusiasm to try on this kikay top which anya would most-assuredly approve of. *sigh!* i hope they bring out some more stuff...

3. after my abject disappointment in mango, i was downright thrilled when i found a fantabulous pair of shoes in celine. it's a dark dark brown (almost black) pair of slides with a brown loop. can i just say that it is perfect for work... and play! please please please... i'm praying for a size 9 (yup, my abnormally large feet) although size 8 is pretty ok already.

4. i got 3 new books from powerbooks!!! yep, my misadventure in makati last monday led to my favorite haven- powerbooks in greenbelt 4. i got 2 "work" books, and one fun book! needless to say, it is a romance novel of the espionage persuasion. my new favorite author maryjanice davidson also came out with her new novel: hello, gorgeous! it's about a sorority sister/beautician turned cybernetic spy girl. after her undead books and the royal treatment, i can't wait to get my hands on this new treat. it's still expensive much so i'm waiting for the paperback...

song of the moment

2005-06-26T14:04:00.000+08:00

"Cinderella Story"
Plain White T's

i heard that you've been asking about me
least that's the word on the street
i just don't know what to believe
why was i dumb enough to leave?

i saw you with him today
the boy who took my place
you seemed so much happier with me
but maybe that's just the way i want it to be

but it's just another one of those days
the way you made it all feel so right
the way you fit into my arms at night
i'll remember that feeling for the rest of my life

but it's just another one of those days
i can't help but feel a little bit sad
about the things you and i never had
i had the world, but instead threw it out of the way.

now, it's just another one of those days.

so, tell me what happens next?
its out of my hands, i guess.
i just don't know what to believe.
why don't you tell me to believe.
why did you let me leave?
it's not the way it's gotta be.
what's wrong with me?
why don't you tell me to believe?
why did you let me leave?
is that the way this has to be?

but it's just another one of those days
the way you made it all feel so right
the way you fit into my arms at night
i'll remember that feeling for the rest of my life

but it's just another one of those days
i can't help but feel a little bit sad
about the things you and i never had
i had the world, but instead threw it out of the way.

now, it's just another one of those days.

top 5 of the week (so far)

2005-06-25T13:01:00.000+08:00

top 5 shitty things:

traffic (45 minutes to get to cravings from xavierville)
freak storms
stupid coups
chinese medicine
bumming around

top 5 best things:

crossword puzzles
brewed iced tea
tortilla chips with spinach-artichoke dip
employment inquiries
friends

top 5 songs:

i want you to want me- letters to cleo
as if- blacque
breakaway- kelly clarkson
even angels fall- jessica riddle
cruel to be kind- letters to cleo

clients, freak storm and monster-in-law

2005-06-23T00:03:00.000+08:00

did i just post that i was relaxed and contented for once in my misbegotten life? (ok, that might be going too far, but you get the picture.)

the day progressed well enough (read: early start, great lunch), then i had to go to school to meet up with InVent's potential clients- which included the illustrious madame and mr. events himself, jq. i wanted to go to school early to thumb through the department's copy of the eccp directory when miss kai informed me that the latest directory was missing (to the dismay of the very much irate madame). there is a very strong probability that a student (with shit for brains) decided to hoard it, or simply misplaced it. argh!

both meetings progressed well enough (if you can call the first one a meeting). madame seemed interested but detached since the event is still set for november. if she decides to dump this account on us on october- we are doubling, no, tripling the fee! we have the aaa account, i think. depends on how good our proposed program is but i think it's in the bag.

after the second meeting, the clouds decided to let loose a freak storm. simply wonderful. well, i guess the reminiscing and the vendo food brought back pretty good memories. good thing i was with anj and peej. thankfully, peej's mom came to the rescue with a trusty 4 x 4 vehicle. we dropped anj off in north, then peej and his mom very graciously brought me to gilmore. (thanks much peej and tita!)

i headed straight to centerpoint where i rendezvoused (for a francophile, this is just sooo wrong, but i'm using it, haha!) with my parents. we ate a fantastic dinner at pancake (as per usual) and ended the night with a hilarious movie. jane fonda totally rocks! *applause*

i guess if the wit-o-meter is measured by how long my mom stays awake when watching a movie- monster in law is a definite winner.

that's right, no snores.

my inner european

2005-06-22T13:41:00.000+08:00

i should be amazed, but i'm not. here's to russians, kai kai!

Your Inner European is Russian!

Mysterious and exotic.
You've got a great balance of danger and allure.

Who's" Your Inner European?

relaxed and contented

2005-06-22T13:15:00.000+08:00

who'd figure blogging would be such a relaxing experience?

after my close encounter with death via the toilet bowl (aka the expressway to hell), i wanted a less painful (and less expulsive) activity to fill my golden days as a bum. hence, i cranked up my computer and started working.

nope, this isn't work- this is practice. submitting employment inquiry letters to prospective employers is work. *nod* *nod*

hopefully, they'd take a look at the cv that i enclosed and be totally blown away by my academic prowess and other achievements. *natch!*

while waiting for their positive replies *crosses fingers*, i did get a nibble from one of the "what?!" letters i sent last may. if all goes well, i MIGHT be employed by a specialty bookstore (oh rapture!) of course, this would be fantastic news for me, and a headache for my parents. i guess they haven't given up on the dream that someday i'll wake up and realize that i want a respectable job (and life) in the corporate world. sorry to disappoint the parentals but that's not likely to happen. i'm leaving all the business mumbo jumbo to my dear ol' brother and sister. i'm sure they will do quite well in that dog-eat-dog world.

i prefer swimming with the sharks.

chomp! roar! burp! excuse me...

2005-06-21T11:40:00.000+08:00

from kai kai's page. had fun doing this. and it did not amaze me in the least that we're the same creature.

Raptor
ROAR! You're 81% Dinotastic!!

Aren't you a clever one? Nearly everone is scared of you. The ones who aren't generally end up as lunch. You like the finer things in life, like a good hunt, a good triceratops steak, and a relaxing evening discussing the finer points of evolution in the Jurrasic and Cretaceous Periods. Stomping around and Biting everything in sight isnt your style. You are too classy for that. But still, who can resist a good chomping when the opportunity arises?

My test tracked 1 variable How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 99% on Dinopoints

Link: youallwantme on The what Dinosaur are you Test written by Ok Cupid

another week down the drain

2005-06-21T11:32:00.000+08:00

ugh... i know i said i wanted to find a job and get it over with, but it's just not working. aside from the fact that i have to make a decision about the scholarship for czech republic, there is just a definite dearth of jobs for people like me. my signature rantings have driven me closer to an early grave... unfortunately, it didn't leave me 6-feet under the fertilizer.... drat!

oh well, i guess it's back to the drawing board, my wonderful job/career matrix and even more job huntings. i just don't get how i can have a number of job offerings and decide that i don't want them. picky much?

so, list of things to decide on:
1. scholarship in czech republic- is it really worth it? and how the hell do i get to olomouc from prague? gak!
2. current vocation- foreign service [if i pass that shitty test], academe, corporate world?
3. nanyang, beijing or shanghai for further studies in the chinese language
4. master's in international political economy (ipe)- ntu, anu, fordham, ack!!!

maybe i should just accidentally fall on anya's pointy stilettos and spare myself the agony of making decisions... then again, she would not appreciate having her precious footwear covered with blood.

blank canvas

2005-06-18T11:13:00.000+08:00

a blank canvas has such a great allure. it's just waiting for a little bit of inspiration, a little bit of emotion, a little bit of corruption...

it represents hopes, expectations, new beginnings- a recreation of life, perhaps.

it tempts the artist, taunts the writer and titillates the creator into forever disturbing the waiting, blank expanse of space with the pens, brushes and other materials of the mind, heart and soul- in the hope of creating something honest, worthwhile and true.

it has been ages since i've stopped writing for the sake of writing. recently, homework, research papers and other portfolios occupied my time. now that they're temporarily placed on-hold, perhaps i can find my inner muse once again. perhaps i could compose poems and stories like i did once upon a time.

*snort* hah!

or maybe i just felt like starting another one of those journals that has no sense, no purpose at all- just a disjointed melange of my incomprehensible ramblings and irate rantings about life, politics and being undead and unemployed. isn't this gonna be a party?

for those who know me, this would be completely out-of-character. it would be something they totally wouldn't expect. oh well, let's just see if my friends' stalking skills are as great as they claim...